No matter how much you love your partner, sometimes couples lose their spark in the bedroom.
In the video above, Health.com shares six foods that can help crank up your sex drive. From popular aphrodisiacs like strawberries and asparagus to healthy fats like avocados and almonds, these foods are sure to get your blood pumping in all the right places.
A dip in your sex drive can be caused by any number of things including stress, depression and a change in medication. Aside from eating healthier, other ways to boost your libido can include taking a sensual bath, getting a massage and smelling rose essential oil.
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9 Ways To Initiate Sex
(01 of09)
Rejection’s effects build up:
A rejection here and there is easy enough to get over, but if efforts to initiate sex are frequently turned down there can be a cumulative effect on the psyche. "The more times you get turned down by a partner, the more those feelings can start to build,” says sex therapist Vanessa Marin. Over time, it can be enough that efforts to initiate just stop. "Eventually, many people get to a point where they no longer want to put themselves out on the line like that,” she says. "They would rather keep their desires to themselves than risk feeling hurt again." (credit:Westend61 via Getty Images)
A rejection here and there is easy enough to get over, but if efforts to initiate sex are frequently turned down there can be a cumulative effect on the psyche. "The more times you get turned down by a partner, the more those feelings can start to build,” says sex therapist Vanessa Marin. Over time, it can be enough that efforts to initiate just stop. "Eventually, many people get to a point where they no longer want to put themselves out on the line like that,” she says. "They would rather keep their desires to themselves than risk feeling hurt again." (credit:Westend61 via Getty Images)
(02 of09)
Even established relationships need initiation:
"If you try to just 'let sex happen' in a long-term relationship, it's probably never going to happen,” Marin says. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward about initiating sex even if you’ve been with your partner for years. "We have to make an effort to keep being vulnerable with our partners and asking to connect,” she says. "I know it feels intimidating sometimes, but it's the best thing you can do for your relationship." (credit:Tara Moore via Getty Images)
"If you try to just 'let sex happen' in a long-term relationship, it's probably never going to happen,” Marin says. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward about initiating sex even if you’ve been with your partner for years. "We have to make an effort to keep being vulnerable with our partners and asking to connect,” she says. "I know it feels intimidating sometimes, but it's the best thing you can do for your relationship." (credit:Tara Moore via Getty Images)
(03 of09)
Figure out what works for your relationship: Marin works with her clients to find solutions that work for every particular relationship. "Everyone is different, so it comes down to finding your own strengths,” she says. What do you like best for your relationship? In what ways do you work best together? Use the things that are already great about your relationship to improve an area that needs work. (credit:Brad Wilson via Getty Images)
(04 of09)
Get silly:
If you both feel comfortable being silly with each other, use this to your advantage with sex. "I once worked with a couple where I suggested that they make bets with each other, and use sex as the 'prize,’” Marin says. (credit:Molly Landreth via Getty Images)
If you both feel comfortable being silly with each other, use this to your advantage with sex. "I once worked with a couple where I suggested that they make bets with each other, and use sex as the 'prize,’” Marin says. (credit:Molly Landreth via Getty Images)
(05 of09)
Use tech to your advantage:
If voicing your feelings or anxieties is tough, use technology to your advantage. Many people find it easier to write out how they feel when they have the advantage of using emojis. "I've suggested initiating using text, emails, or little signals to each other, like putting a post-it note on the bedroom door,” Marin says. (credit:Justin Case via Getty Images)
If voicing your feelings or anxieties is tough, use technology to your advantage. Many people find it easier to write out how they feel when they have the advantage of using emojis. "I've suggested initiating using text, emails, or little signals to each other, like putting a post-it note on the bedroom door,” Marin says. (credit:Justin Case via Getty Images)
(06 of09)
Literally schedule it:
If it’s too much pressure to know when you should initiate sex, there’s nothing wrong with literally putting it in your schedule. That really works for some couples, Marin says — it gives them a chance to look forward to it and build up anticipation. (credit:Fuse via Getty Images)
If it’s too much pressure to know when you should initiate sex, there’s nothing wrong with literally putting it in your schedule. That really works for some couples, Marin says — it gives them a chance to look forward to it and build up anticipation. (credit:Fuse via Getty Images)
(07 of09)
Take turns:
"It's important for both partners to put themselves out on the line and initiate,” Marin says. Resentment can build if one partner feels they do all the work of initiating sex and intimacy. "Typically, it's the partner with the lower sex drive that initiates the least,” she says. "They can practice initiating other types of intimacy, like cuddling, taking a bath together, or lazing about in bed naked on a Saturday morning." (credit:Michael Poehlman via Getty Images)
"It's important for both partners to put themselves out on the line and initiate,” Marin says. Resentment can build if one partner feels they do all the work of initiating sex and intimacy. "Typically, it's the partner with the lower sex drive that initiates the least,” she says. "They can practice initiating other types of intimacy, like cuddling, taking a bath together, or lazing about in bed naked on a Saturday morning." (credit:Michael Poehlman via Getty Images)
(08 of09)
Embrace the awkwardness:
Sometimes it’s going to feel awkward — and that’s OK. "People are so afraid of sexual awkwardness because we've been primed by porn and the movies to think that sex is supposed to be effortless and perfect,” Marin says. "But in real life, sex is awkward and messy!” Fighting awkwardness just ends up amplifying it, she says. “Just acknowledge the awkwardness, laugh at yourself, and keep going!" (credit:John Lund via Getty Images)
Sometimes it’s going to feel awkward — and that’s OK. "People are so afraid of sexual awkwardness because we've been primed by porn and the movies to think that sex is supposed to be effortless and perfect,” Marin says. "But in real life, sex is awkward and messy!” Fighting awkwardness just ends up amplifying it, she says. “Just acknowledge the awkwardness, laugh at yourself, and keep going!" (credit:John Lund via Getty Images)
(09 of09)
Consider therapy:
If your own efforts to get things back on track sexually aren’t working out, consider bringing in outside help. A sex therapist can help identify communication patterns that are sabotaging your efforts, for example, or give you a helpful outside perspective that comes without the awkwardness and hurt feelings that often come along with sexual problems. Look for an in-person option if that’s convenient or seek out online therapy if that’s more appealing. (credit:Vladimir Godnik via Getty Images)
If your own efforts to get things back on track sexually aren’t working out, consider bringing in outside help. A sex therapist can help identify communication patterns that are sabotaging your efforts, for example, or give you a helpful outside perspective that comes without the awkwardness and hurt feelings that often come along with sexual problems. Look for an in-person option if that’s convenient or seek out online therapy if that’s more appealing. (credit:Vladimir Godnik via Getty Images)