This HuffPost Canada page is maintained as part of an online archive.

What I Learned This Week: Avoid Asshole Ammunition

Giving up the reigns puts someone else in the driver's seat, which is a guaranteed recipe for calamity. Trust me, every pitch you'll make will be challenged... but the longer your maintain control, the more powerful a base (and shield) you build. What's more, you may inadvertently address, even eliminate, someone's genuine concern as your presentation rolls on to its finish.
|
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

Open Image Modal

Last week, I had the pleasure of mentoring two sharp young men. By day, they have marketing jobs, but by night and over weekends, they are prepping an entrepreneurial endeavour, and asked me to offer up some advice on the concept.

Not that I am the world's most astute investor or business brain, but the fact that I co-founded and sold a tech business a few years ago (Airborne Mobile), and that I'm currently helping to fund and launch a new one, led them to reach out for a casual evaluation.

Now for reasons of confidentiality, I can't divulge their names or the nature of their business, but for purposes of this post, they're kinda irrelevant anyway. This week's learning was inspired by the opening statement of their presentation, where they said:

"Show of hands... how many of you actually click on Internet banner ads?"

I looked around the room. All hands were on deck. None were even twitching to be raised.

Except for mine.

"Look guys," I said sincerely, "I can't say I do it regularly, but frankly, from time-to-time, I actually do click on a banner ad or two. And I promise you I am not alone"

I continued.

"Look, I know all the stats; how ineffective they are, how everyone hates them, etc. But I also know if they didn't work AT ALL, they wouldn't be there.

"Click-thru rates may be miniscule, and I don't want to disparage well-intended marketing folk, but like spammers who send out multiple-millions of bait emails, sometimes all a banner ad needs is a teeny fraction of a percent reaction to make money."

But that wasn't the point. This was:

By starting a presentation with a question that could be contradicted, the young entrepreneurs were jeopardizing the credibility of every further point they wanted to make. (It reminded me of an occasion years ago when I found an error my accountant made in the first few lines of my tax return; I doubted every other figure from that point on.)

Worse yet (and pardon the mild profanity), it provided something that I call "Asshole Ammunition."

It's one thing to be honest and straightforward, which is what was expected from me.

It's quite another to gleefully torpedo a presentation for sport, which is the dastardly domain of the Asshole.

Unfortunately, I've been privy to that situation a number of times; be they when I was standing in front of a boardroom of people as a presenter, or seated amongst them as a presentee. Everyone else may be rolling their eyes, but those of the Asshole are laser-focused on destruction.

For an Asshole, making the point isn't enough; driving it home uncomfortably and seizing the moment to scuttle subsequent next steps in a presentation is. And this sadistic behavior (often in the guise of "ah, this'll toughen them up!") isn't limited to presentations; it rears its ugly, festering head in simple, everyday meetings on a frequent basis as well.

Now try as we may, there's no proper way to prevent the Asshole from attending a presentation or meeting.

But by knowing and understanding his or her modus operandi, we can at least be prepared for it... and minimize it, if we indeed have to deal with it at all.

To start, know your facts.

And to know enough to deflectingly say "I'll get back to you on that" if for some reason you don't know them.

Next point is to think like an Asshole.

Find your weak points, the lob balls that will be jumped on with a truncheon, and eliminate them. If you can't get rid of them, pad them... then question whether you're even on the right path. If you're gonna go down, better you control the descent than be kicked down a long mineshaft by someone else.

The key point is to maintain control of every one of your presentations.

Giving up the reigns puts someone else in the driver's seat, which is a guaranteed recipe for calamity. Trust me, every pitch you'll make will be challenged... but the longer your maintain control, the more powerful a base (and shield) you build. What's more, you may inadvertently address, even eliminate, someone's genuine concern as your presentation rolls on to its finish.

But it will never even get close to finishing your pitch if you let an Asshole take over. You'll have enough problems if he or she arrives unarmed; by providing Asshole Ammunition, you might as well not even start.

The exercise would be as futile as, uh... clicking a banner ad.

ALSO ON HUFFPOST:

Making Friends As An Adult
Get Out Of The House(01 of13)
Open Image Modal
Don't stay home tethered to your computer or TV. Now is the time to establish and solidify friendships for the years ahead. Once you venture out, you'll find there are other people who are just as eager to make friends as you are. (credit:Alamy)
Don't Quit Before You Start(02 of13)
Open Image Modal
Many adults have the mistaken impression that everyone else is already paired up, like Noah's Ark, and no one else is looking for new friends. Contrary to the myth perpetuated by popular culture, most friendships don't last forever. Thus, you need to continually replenish your "stock" of friendships. (credit:Alamy)
Engage With People(03 of13)
Open Image Modal
Pick up the phone at least once a day to speak to a friend. If you work, arrange to have lunch with someone at least once a week. If you work at home, arrange to have coffee or lunch with someone at least twice a week. Turn off all electronics for a couple of hours each day and see if you find yourself more engaged with people. (credit:Alamy)
Risk Reaching Out(04 of13)
Open Image Modal
Don’t be embarrassed about being lonely or friendless. You’re certainly not the only one. Moreover, don’t let shame or embarrassment stop you from reaching out to new friends. Otherwise, your friendlessness will become a vicious cycle. (credit:Alamy)
Don't Take Rejection Personally(05 of13)
Open Image Modal
People need to overcome the idea that they are the only one seeking friendships and that rejection, if it occurs, is personal. Sometimes another individual's dance card is simply already filled up with family, work and other friendships. (credit:Alamy)
Take Things Slowly(06 of13)
Open Image Modal
Don't fall prey to expecting too much too soon or acting too needy. Give friendships time to blossom by being open, honest and showing interest in other people. (credit:Alamy)
Make Your Friendships A Priority(07 of13)
Open Image Modal
Unfortunately, many women look at their friendships as discretionary compared to their responsibilities to families and careers. For this reason, they fail to allocate time for friendships. It isn’t selfish or indulgent to make time for friendships. Having close friendships makes a woman happier --and better wife, mother and worker. (credit:Alamy)
Pursue Your Passions(08 of13)
Open Image Modal
Making friends is more a function of circumstance rather than age, per se. No one is more attractive to others than someone who is engaged in life. Whether you join a gym, take an art course, sign up for dancing lessons or volunteer at a nonprofit, find something that stirs your passions and places you in regular contact with the same people week after week. Friendships will follow. (credit:Getty Images)
Look For Acquaintances First(09 of13)
Open Image Modal
Every friendship starts off with the exchange of a smile, question or comment. Best friends don't grow on trees and real relationships take time to nurture. As two people get to know each other, they will fall into a comfortable groove. (credit:Alamy)
Try An Intergenerational Friendship(10 of13)
Open Image Modal
Perhaps you have limited yourself by looking for people who are just like you. You can expand your pool of potential friends by seeking out people who are little bit different, in terms of age or lifestyle. Is there an elderly neighbor on your block who might welcome your company, or a young mother who would love to have some adult companionship once in a while? Intergenerational friendships yield valuable payoffs on both sides. (credit:Getty Images)
Join A Group Or Several Groups(11 of13)
Open Image Modal
Become active in your community: There is life after the PTA and scouting. Can you become a friend of the library? Participate in local government by serving on a committee. Join an existing book group or cooking club, or start one of your own. Go to meetup.com to find out about various interest groups; they are catalogued by zip code. (credit:Getty Images)
Turn Your Virtual Friendships Into Real Ones(12 of13)
Open Image Modal
Perhaps you are spending too much time behind your computer screen. Find out if any of your online friendships have the potential to be face-to-face ones. Do some of your Twitter or Facebook friends live nearby? As an added bonus, reducing the amount of time you spend online will give you more time and motivation for forming real friendships. (credit:Alamy)
Find A Travel Tribe(13 of13)
Open Image Modal
It can be a few college roommates, the women in your book club, several cousins or one best friend. Select an individual or group to travel with whose company you enjoy, and with whom you can relax and be yourself. If you can't stand being with someone over lunch or have the feeling someone may be a frenemy, don't even think about including her! Together, pick an irresistible destination for a girlfriend getaway, perhaps a beach, spa or cruise, where you can bond and nurture your friendships. (credit:Getty Images)
-- This HuffPost Canada page is maintained as part of an online archive. If you have questions or concerns, please check our FAQ or contact support@huffpost.com.