When you are not in a relationship or getting over a relationship/divorce, the holidays can be a challenging time of the year. Each relationship we go through really teaches us about what we need or what we needed to overcome to set you up for a healthy relationship. If you’re currently struggling to get over a relationship, I developed this self-inventory about things you can think about to help overcome some of the pain associated with the break-up/divorce.
1. Think about the things that lead you to that relationship in the first place.
2. Think about the things that attracted you to the person.
3. Think about what you were looking for before you got into the relationship.
4. Think about the fears you may have had before you got into the relationship.
5. Think about the things you felt before you got into the relationship.
6. What did the person make you feel about yourself?
7. What did they respond to within you?
8. What did you experience that you hadn’t experienced before?
9. Did you see yourself with the person before you met them?
10. Did you date someone out of your character?
Once you have identified the reasons for some of these questions, you’ll have the answers to help propel you to the next relationship. Sometimes, we keep carrying unnecessary burdens into new relationships. You possess the answers to all that you are feeling; you just have to look at the situation from a different angle. The answers are all within you. You can harm or heal yourself. Returning to the point of who you were before the relationship; puts you in a place of empowerment rather than psychological persecution. It’s within understanding the unhealthy relationships that we find ourselves and gets us closer to a healthy relationship.