It's the start of a new day. Birds are chirping and the sun is shining bright. You sit down and turn on your computer. Then, you see him walking down the hallway. As he passes, he gives you a little nod to acknowledge your presence. Nothing more. As soon as he gets past earshot, you turn to your coworker and say, "God, I hate that guy!" He can't even say, "Hello?" You don't even like to think about this person and now he's in your head. Beads of sweat start to form on your forehead, it's going to be a bad day.
Fast forward to the next morning, and it's another beautiful day. You hear a flute being played in the background, bringing calm to the entire office. Your muscles begin to relax. Then... you see him walking down the hallway. As he walks past your desk he smiles and says, "Hello". He continues to walk towards his desk. Again, you wait until he is far enough, turn to your coworker and say, "God, I hate that guy! Can you believe the way he said, "Hello" to me? And why are you playing that flute?" Yes, that person in your office. You hate them no matter what they do. But have you ever questioned why?
I thought about this one day. Why do I hate this person so much? I wanted to go beyond what they did. I looked at their characteristics. What about their personality that made my skin crawl. What I noticed was most of my insecurities were exposed when they were around. Before I continue, this won't fit all types of people. I'm not talking about someone who physically beats you. I'm talking about people, that for some reason or another, you just don't like. People may socially or professionally criticize you. But when they do it, it makes you want to punch them in the face. Here are the four things to learn from the people you hate at work:
1. Confidence: They think they know everything and make sure everyone else knows it. This might be your perception, but it might not be the case. There is something about them that exudes confidence. People who don't hate them, will think they know what they're talking about. Even when they don't. The more confidence you show, the more people will come to you for advice. They will think you are some sort of authority in a manner. If your looking to move up, it's important to have this attribute.
2. Know What you are Talking About: They question everything you do. No matter what the situation, they have to confirm what you say. If you are full of crap, they know and won't let it go. You try to wiggle out but the noose just tightens. But questioning people, while annoying, will also ensure that you and your team know exactly what your talking about. This double check may catch something that you didn't expect. The more eyes looking at an issue, the better off you are. You can roll your eyes when they question you, but just make sure you have the right answer.
3. They are Always Nice and Cozy with the Boss: Their is nothing like a little schmoozing to get ahead. While you shouldn't brown your nose up, you should be able to have a regular conversation with your boss that doesn't revolve around work. It may be difficult, but building that relationship is important. It shows that you can work well with others and not just, dare I say it, a low level, know nothing employee. I know not all bosses think this way. But their perception of you as being more of an equal is important in a work environment. Especially if you looking to move up in your job.
4. Don't Be Fake Nice: They are always being nice to everyone. They give everyone a standard response. Everyone thinks they are "okay", but they don't have a genuine connection with anyone. It's important to be friendly to everyone, but don't hold back who you are. If you have a bad temper and you get into a debate; don't stand up, hit your chest, and yell, "Come at me Brah!" What I'm saying is don't back down. Express what you feel and stand firm. People will appreciate your honesty and not your robot responses.
Your mind gets clouded when you don't like someone. Don't get hung up on these feelings. If you do, you will be stuck trying to avoid these people and your insecurities.