Montenegro?
When I was invited to speak about dating to 500 Russians, mostly women, at the second annual Age of Happiness Festival For Living Well Over 50 in Budva, Montenegro I was skeptical. I’d never heard of the Festival, I’d never spoken to a Russian audience, and I was only vaguely aware of Montenegro.
When I received an email asking if I was interested in giving a series of talks for this organization I had to go online to find Montenegro on a map. I accepted because at 71 I still have an adventurous spirit and I love to travel.
Sweet People
Tatiana Khrylova was my contact. She wanted to know how much my fee would be but I waved my speaking fee for a second airline ticket for my sweetie so we could attend the Festival together and spend a week in Istanbul afterward on our way home. I had several Skype calls with Tatiana but didn’t discover until a few weeks before the Festival that she was having a baby any moment. She and her husband Murat brought their infant to the Festival.
Our connecting flight from San Francisco to Istanbul and then on to Padgorica, the Capital of Montenegro put us into Budva late at night. We were picked up at the airport by the Festival and checked into the hotel, which was a resort on the Adriatic. Our room was actually a suite so we had some room to move around.
The Festival
I was scheduled to speak for an hour to an hour and a half three days in a row but I had a few days before my first talk so I attended other speakers’ talks. Victor, a Russian speaker talked about the slow food movement. His talk was instantly translated into English through a headset. His talk was fascinating and when I spoke with him afterward and mentioned I was from San Francisco he informed me I was at Ground Zero for the slow food movement. Slow food is about buying produce, meats, etc., from local sources.
Then Suzi Grant, a beautiful and charming Brit, who spoke about nutrition and diet, gave the second talk. She was bubbly and enthusiastic and Sarah and I spent time talking with her about her work.
The third English speaker was 75 year-old British retired physician and surgeon Roger Allsopp, whose message is how to live longer. Roger is the oldest person to swim the 21-mile English Channel - twice! He donated the money he raised towards the purchase of cancer research equipment.
The two interpreters were young women who translated English speakers’ talks into Russian. Their skill level was terrific and they routinely translate for international corporations. They knew all the colloquialisms and subtle nuances American dialogue uses.
The talks were given in two large white tents. My talk was about online dating and drew good crowds. I told the audience that rather than waiting until the end of the talk they could ask questions anytime.
Same Old Same Old
I laughed when a woman asked the first question, which was actually a statement that there are no Russian men who are emotionally conscious like the men I described as good dating and relationship prospects. My response was instantly translated and she smiled. I told here that her statement was the same as what my date coaching clients in the United States, all women over 50, routinely tell me.
I gave her the same message I give my American clients. Yes, there are emotionally conscious men over 50 to date and the trick was to know how to recognize them by asking the six questions listed in my new book, Your Guy Is Out There: Dating Tips For Women Over 50. They all wrote the questions down.
The following two talks went equally well and most of the questions were similar to those I hear at home. My partner Sarah, a therapist, jumped right into the conversation. We worked together for the first time. When Sarah introduced herself and mentioned she was a therapist a Russian man asked if she constantly psychoanalyzed me. I said no and asked why he wanted to know. He mentioned his wife sitting next to him was also a therapist. It wasn’t difficult to connect the dots.
It was a fascinating week and each night was capped by a concert. The Russian audiences were eager, happy and celebratory. And while there was an obvious language gap we still managed to enjoy each other enormously
We flew to Istanbul for a week afterwards, but that’s another article.