I was recently coaching at a tournament and another coach came up to me and said, “Are you stressed yet?”
She then said, “Oh wait, I forgot who I was talking to.”
She was correct, I was not stressed.
We live in a world where most people are stressed. As a matter of fact, if you are NOT stressed, people think there’s something wrong with you.
If it isn’t bad enough that so many people are stressed, most people also misunderstand the source of their stress.
When you do not understand where stress comes from, it is impossible to decrease it.
Most believe that something outside of them like a tournament, their children, or traffic, can make them feel stressed.
Erroneous.
If a tournament could create stress, then every single coach there would be stressed...but they weren’t.
So if stress does not come from a tournament, our children, traffic, or anything else outside of us, where the heck does stress come from?
Our state of mind.
Stress comes from stressful thinking. Period.
From one state of mind, a tournament stresses us out.
From a different state of mind, a tournament excites us.
So it is not the tournament after all, it is our state of mind in that moment.
In other words, it’s our perspective.
Now, I know what you’re probably thinking, “Now how can I get rid of and manage my stress?”
1. You don’t have to manage stress (contrary to popular belief).
2. Stress can only be felt if you are thinking stressful thoughts.
3. Stressful thoughts go away on their own (can you remember the last 10 thoughts you had?)
4. When you understand how the mind works, you tend to feel less stress less often.
5. When you realize you are creating your stress, you get less scared by it.
I once worked with a CEO, and during our first call, I could sense his high level of stress, so I asked, “Just out of curiosity, what is your stress level right now? (on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest)”
His honest answer was 9.
I asked if he was interested in lowering that number and he responded, “Yes, but to be honest with you if you could help me get to an 8, it would be a miracle.”
I knew he believed what he was telling me, but I knew better.
On the last day of the program, I asked him the question again:
“What would you say your stress level is right now?”
He thought about it and his response was, “2.”
Miracle accomplished.
I was thrilled, but at the same time, I was not surprised because I know that we all have that potential. His lower stress level was a by-product of understanding how the mind works, and where stress truly comes from.
He is now thriving in his business, and the best part is, it is even helping him in other areas of life.
Stress is not the problem. Stressing about stress is the problem.
Isn’t it interesting that sometimes something bothers you, and other times the same thing isn’t a big deal?
This is because it isn’t the thing, it is 100% your THINKING about the thing.
From a low state of mind, I think my wife is always giving me things to do.
From a high state of mind, I am grateful that I have a wife that helps me reach my goals.
Everything in life is perspective, aka our thinking.
Want to learn more? Shoot me an email. Thanks for reading and feel free to share this article!
Ed Tseng
ed@edtseng.com
609.558.1077