SCOTT’S RED HOT MEDIA WORKOUT!
“Shooting a heaping splatter of media analysis all over the frightened face of mainstream press since June 12 2005”
Volume 2
ATT: ASPIRING YOUNG JOURNOS! FREE STORY IDEA!
Yesterday Scott found what appeared to be the likeness of Bruce Dern’s genitals in a sliced pear. “You couldn’t miss it,” Scott told me. “Almost perfect in size and proportion – It even had THE FRECKLE.” Scott bagged and froze it for the news conference.
This got us to thinking – has anyone else seen the likenesses of celebrity genitalia in their food? If you have also experienced this same kind of eerie phenomena, please write to me and send pictures if you have them!
Last summer at a picnic, for example. I saw George Wendt’s gonads swimming in a bowl of Ambrosia salad. The resemblance was uncanny. And salty. ; )
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BIBLE BLIND ITEM!
What notoriously gorgeous shepherd boy spends most of this time in the fields with the lambs and the sheep – enthralling a bigtime prophet so much so that he sent for our long-haired hero and anointed his head with oil? “He looked like he was having a good time,” says our snarky insider.
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HUFFPO BROWNIES IN THE BREAKROOM!!
Scott left a “surprise” for all Huffers in the HUFFPO breakroom! Yum...Looks like there may be some sweet corn and peanuts mixed in there.
We hope they are brownies. : o
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MEDIA OUTRAGE OF THE WEEK
Last night Scott played me a song called “9/11 is a Joke,” by a rap band called Public Enemy. I don’t know about you, but I don’t find terrorism of any kind to be “a joke.”
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SCOTTS SHAVED BAG
(OF MAIL!)
DEAR SCOTT:
They locked the steam room in the 86th street NYC Sports Club. Suggestions? – Robbie, previous post.
Robbie,
With little or no ventilation to speak of in the bathrooms, just simply turn all the faucets on hot and high. In minutes, you will have transformed the entire locker room into a steam room. We used to do this at the Y in Arlington VA. (I have a recurring STD to prove it)
HI SCOTT
Like you, I am also a flight attendant. I'm flying XO F (using SW miles) to the Dus Do next week. LAX-NOR-DUS. I have a four hour lay-over. NOR-DUS goes out of B. Does it have a shower or is that just the C? Do the shower areas have a sitting room, and hairdryers? I don’t have space for a hairdryer but of course I don't want to be seen in NOR w/ wet hair. HELP!
ATFB,
Kyle.
Kyle,
ATFB, BAY!
Skip LAX-NOR-DUS and do LAX-SJO-DUS. 1.5 hour layover – Sen L not only has showers, but a steam room, amazing hair dryers, as well as complimentary Men’s Health (the phone numbers in the margins are the best kept secret.) BTFW, Kyle, The best shower is in the F Lounge at the X Wing. Ask anyone and they will tell you that. It has nothing to do with water pressure. LYFC, YMFA!
--------SPECIAL OFFER---------------------------------
HUFFPO DOLL COLLECTION!
The Huffington Post is proud to announce its very own commemorative
doll collection! – real porcelain replicas of your favorite Huff Bloggers! Use them to act out your HuffPo heroic fantasies! (much like what the Scientologists do with clay).
The first series include:
The Bradley.
an ADORABLE ginger-haired sitting boy doll. Dressed in dungarees with teddy bear theme, white top and hat. “It’s anatomically correct, but flat with no backbone,” says Scott. “I can bend him any way I want!”
The Danielle.
Comes in a beautiful white fitted blouse, black/white check apron, black skirt (laced, trimmed petticoat with bows optional) and a perfect Valentine caboose. Says Scott: “I have her sitting in the Danielle dreamhouse, writing fake screenplays!”
The Arianna
It comes in a gold and green dress, trimmed lavishly with cream lace, pink roses and ribbons. Pull off an arm, and another one grows back.
The Franken
It’s a 16 inch doll in a daisy patterned dress and white pinafore with flowers and ribbons in his hair. “It has combination skin,” says Scott.
NEXT WEEK IN SCOTT’S RED HOT MEDIA WORKOUT:
Scott's sketches of Jim Lampley, reclining, shirtless and angry!