It’s okay to take your superhero cape off
Like so many women, I bear a common fault: I’m a “helper” and a “fixer”. After all, if your parents were Baby Boomers, didn’t they teach you these traits? “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” “Remember your manners: don’t eat until everyone else has been served. Always offer the last piece to the guests before taking it yourself.”
Let’s face it: we were raised to put everyone else before us and put ourselves on the back burner. Of course, we carry this into adulthood. Women are notorious for apologizing for things that are not their fault. On top of that, we spend so much of the day trying to make sure everyone else is “happy” and accounted for. This is the perfect recipe for burn out, overload and breakdown. REPEAT AFTER ME:
I’M TOUGH but I AM NOT Teflon™ Coated!
Teflon™ was, and is, an amazing invention. The substance, which was invented by accident, is extremely slippery, non-corrosive, chemically stable and has an extremely high melting point. It’s used in various hair products (gross); in windshield wipers; carpets and furniture as a stain repellant; light bulbs; coating on glasses; automotive lubricant (and you want to put that in your hair?); igniters for solid-fuel rocket propellants; and you name it. Used infamously in cookware, you can rub a metal whisk against it and not leave a scratch. Guess What? That is the exact OPPOSITE of WHO YOU ARE!
We simply have it backwards. It’s okay to ask for help and really mean it. The days of robotically uttering “I’m fine/okay” need to be replaced with “I’m not fine/okay”. While I am not suggesting that you become a blabbing, crying mess, if you have moments where you are, it’s OKAY. Trying to be a superhero only works for television and movies; it’s not a good strategy for real life.
Oh, and also be mindful of this in your chosen profession and volunteer/service opportunities. My business and nonprofit pursuits are all centered on service, therefore, I have to take extra precaution to ensure that I’m guarding my peace, sanity and fuel. If not, you will spend your time as a rat in a maze. Dying early from carrying around the weight of the world on your shoulders or having a nervous breakdown, is not fashionable or heroic. Rather, these are signs of a life out of balance, spun out of control and cries for help that go unanswered.
