Dr. Dobson has performed a great public service by giving us a list of companies we should patronize in gratitude for their support of gay rights. Blacklist? Are you kidding?? This file (warning: pdf) is a shopping guide for progressives. Thanks, Doc. It's just in time for my Christmas shopping!
He even rates them for their "aggressiveness" (odd wording, eh?) in promoting gay causes. Rrowr!
Let's see -- we'll get some Nikes to go with the wife's membership at that new gym (Nike's "aggressive" -- ooh, that Phil Knight!) and a stylin' Levis jacket for my son.
I'll pick up something for my daughter at The Gap. Next time I visit my Mom back east I'll fly USAir, rent at Avis or Budget and stay at Days Inn or the Ramada. (Or if I'm feeling luxurious, at a Starwood.) And, of course, I'll charge it to my American Express card.
Feeling hungry? You might get brave and have a meal at the local Chili's. Have some Frito-Lay chips on the side. Did it give you heartburn? Hell, just wash it down with a nice cold Budweiser. If you don't drink alcohol, have a Pepsi.
Family bored over the holidays? Take 'em to Sea World in your Toyota. Be sure to bring the kids' gay uncle, and treat everybody to some Ben & Jerry's on the way back. Did they wear you out on the trip? Stop at Starbuck's and have a double espresso.
Want to read up on religious bigotry in America? Order something at Amazon or Barnes & Noble, and buy some Gertrude Stein while you're at it. They're not quite as "aggressive" as some of the other companies, but we can encourage them.
Microsoft's right up there, too. Microsoft? Didn't they waver a little a few months ago? Besides, I'm a former software guy (from the antideluvian days -- got a giant HP3000 with 8 MB of RAM? I'm your guy). That means I tend to agree with the "Microsoft = Antichrist" crowd, because it's obvious how much better they could make their product. But if they're on Dr. Dobson's list, I should feel pretty good about my new PC.
If you hate Windows, though, Apple's on the list too.
Meanwhile, another fringe group is boycotting "American Girl" dolls for essentially the same reasons. Now, I shopped for dolls for my god-daughter last Christmas, and if there's one thing the Religious Right should support it's "American Girl" dolls. They're designed as a wholesome alternative to the popular lines of young girls' dolls currently out there.
They and we should be on the same side of this issue. When a nine-year-old girl says she wants one of the other dolls (like "Bratz") that depict girls as streetwalking skanks hustling their booty for male approval, it's -- to say the least -- disturbing. But these guys are fighting "American Girl," too.
How does that Tom Petty song go? "She was an American girl, raised on promises/She couldn't help thinkin' that there was a little more to life somewhere else ..."
As a business person, I know that diversity strengthens the work force and helps grow the economy. It's not just good ethics, it's good business. We should express our appreciation to the companies on this list. I've left a lot of them out, but then it's a very long list. I guess haters have a lot of time on their hands.
So, this holiday season, let's all thank Focus on the Family and James Dobson for making our shopping a little bit easier. And let's wish them a Merry Christmas. No, scratch that. Make it "Happy Holidays."