It's not easy getting clarity in your life -- this is a particularly tough topic for women. We seem to find it difficult to figure out what we want in life, let alone muster up the courage to do it.
You see, women are often caretakers -- we focus on everyone else before we worry about ourselves.
It's the little things that diminish our ability to be clear about what we really want. It could be something like, "where do you want to go for dinner tonight?" When we ask those questions, and never consider where WE want to go for dinner, we're actually giving our power away.
Not because we are incapable of making decisions, but rather because we want to take care of people - we often care about what they want more than we care about what we want.
Do you feel like you're putting others over our own wants and needs?
Once you've put yourself at the bottom of the list it is hard to pull yourself back up to the top.
When do you give away your power? I catch myself doing this when I go to a restaurant. I ask everybody at the table what they're having before I can decide what I'm going to have. Who cares what everyone else is having! Just make a decision to have what you want.
When someone asks what you want - do something completely radical and make a choice!
When we are so busy trying to please everyone else, it can be very difficult to think about what we want or need in business or in life.
Caretakers tend to forget their own needs.
We stop using our voice. And, when we stop using our voice, it gets progressively harder to speak up and ask for what we want. How can we possibly get what we want if we don't ask for it?
People aren't mind readers -- you must speak up and let the world know what it is you want from it.
If we don't put ourselves first for the little decisions, what about the great big life and business decisions?!
How can you possibly decide what you want from the rest of your life it you can't decide what you want for dinner?
You start small. You start paying attention to what you want everyday. The little things count - coffee or tea, red or white - make those decisions! Practice using your voice on those little things and over time you start building confidence around what you want.
When I decided to take the leap of faith and leave my corporate job to open my own business, a girlfriend of mine said to me, "You know Lisa, opening that store wasn't really all that risky."
I was stunned! I had invested hundreds of thousands of dollars. I walked away from a six-figure income with great benefits and stock options. Her comment really ticked me off!
But she was right.
Opening that business was safe, comfortable, and easy.
When I first opened that store, I used to walk in every morning and think, "OMG I can't believe this is my own business. I own this!"
Over time, I got bored. It wasn't feeding my soul. What I REALLY wanted to do was teach. I wanted to lead, to inspire people, to help them get results.
Two years after opening that store, I realized I had a different idea - a different plan for myself.
I didn't just discard my store and let it die; I started my new idea slowly and responsibly. It took me around five years to get rid of that store and evolve into doing what I now do full-time.
Clarity is a moving target. You start by thinking about what you want today, tomorrow, a year from now, or 5 years from now. You start by asking yourself what you want and by speaking up for the little things. That's where it starts.
You gradually build yourself up by asking for the little things so that you're ready when it comes to the big things.
Many of us have lost our voice. We've lost our ability to ask. We're afraid of failing. We're afraid of change.
You can live your life AND be a positive influence for the other people in your life. Even more so, when you finally begin doing what you want in life.
My message for you isn't to drop everything and completely start a new life. My message is start to pay attention to what you want. Start to pay attention to your needs. Start to pay attention to where you're not speaking up and giving away your power.
Start with the small things and start putting YOURSELF at the top of the list. Leave me a comment below and tell me about a decision that you made to put yourself first today.