Happily Ever... WHEN?! Singlehood as a 30-something Woman

“It's one of my dreams as I get older,” Amy* tells me, her voice breaking just a bit, “To find my happily ever after. To find someone who loves me, who I love back, and to start a family. Sometimes I wonder if that’s too much to ask for.”

Amy, 34, has worked hard all of her life. She’s a nurse manager in the emergency room at a busy suburban Philadelphia hospital. She takes great pride in her professional accomplishments. Over the years she’s built a strong group of solid friendships. She volunteers. She donates to charity.

On paper, she’s checked off all the typical boxes.

And yet, she cannot find love, despite her best efforts to make it happen.

As a therapist in private practice, I began seeing many Amy’s come into my office. They are kind, thoughtful and have so much love to give. Yet, when it comes to creating sustainable, healthy romantic relationships, something goes wrong.

It became my mission to find out what was happening.

I began interviewing single, professional, 30-something women, to hear their unique stories and to discover how dating and the quest to find love has seemingly done them wrong. These brave, badass women have shared their experiences in singlehood, their most intimate dating encounters, their fears, vulnerabilities, regrets, and obstacles to finding the love they desire.

One thing I’ve learned, they’re certainly not alone.

“My Prince Charming fell off his horse, knocked himself out, and hasn’t come back up for air” shares Kathy, a 32 year old single, Nurse Practitioner at a Philadelphia pediatric hospital.

Just like Amy, Kathy spent her 20’s mastering her craft, pouring her heart and soul into her training and now supports countless patients, day in and day out, through difficult times.

One morning, shortly after her 31st birthday, she recalls waking up and realizing that despite busting her ass to be where she is in her career, she desperately wants more. “Having someone to share my life with is so important to me now. I want someone to celebrate these successes with and to live out my dreams of having a family with.”

Current statistics show that 44% of Americans are single and that the ratio of single men to single women is 86:100. To break it down even further, 20% of 30-somethings are currently single and studies have shown that amongst this group, the desire and overwhelming drive to find a partner to settle down with is steadily on the rise.

“I’ve lost myself for a little bit and have been throwing myself an extended pity party. So much so, that I’ve started to hide from myself” shared Rachel, a single, 34 year old middle school teacher.

“Believing that being alone is all my fault has done some serious damage to my confidence. There has to be something wrong with me, right?” She asked, her eyes filling with tears. “If I was good enough, I’d have all that I want already... A husband. A family.”

Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing my findings from these interviews with you. With help from experts in love, dating and women’s empowerment, we’ll dive into the dilemma of being a single, 30-something woman. I’ll be providing you with tips, insights and actionable strategies to help you along your journey to finding the relationship you’ve been dreaming of.

As you watch your birthdays tick by- 32, 33, 36 - it’s easy feel helpless, even hopeless, that you’ll never find your happily ever after. But, it doesn’t have to be this way.

Join my list of beautiful, badass women who have learned to mend their hearts, melt their worry and maximize their joy, as they find the love they’ve been longing for.

Sign up here to stay in in the loop as each article is published. You’ll hear stories from other single women and learn from experts how to show up in your life confidently, authentically and unapologetically, while attracting and creating the love that you so deserve.

Stay tuned... things are about to get real!

*All names have been changed to protect participant’s identities.