Whether you’re a parent or someone who plays an important role in a child’s life, it’s important to know that every little detail of daily life can impact the child’s perception of self. How do you mold a child’s perception of self into one that recognizes the true value of self? Let’s get started.
1. Self awareness and teaching by example.
Children do as children see even if they tell you that you are weird, they don’t want to participate in things that you do, hang out with you, or don’t seem to agree with you (Okay, I am talking about tweens or teens here, but thankfully not mine (YET-fingers crossed)). Mostly likely, when they’re younger, they want to be exactly like you. The point is that everything you do and most importantly, don’t do, is being watched and listened to by your children. Confident, kind, positive, passionate, ambitious and happy adults (I know a lot of you will be rolling your eyes here, but just an FYI- I know that we are human and we cannot be happy 100% of the time, but we can be happy for most of the 24 hours we spend in a day) will most probably raise children with all of these qualities.
Consciously aware parents raise consciously aware children by default. It is true that while children may not tell you directly that they look up to you the most in life, they sure do display it in their behaviors and actions. Take a moment to think about the way you speak, most importantly to yourself. Constant negative self talk vs. positive self talk- which do you think impacts children with a higher self esteem? What do you do in your daily life which enriches, uplifts, and strengths you and your relationship to yourself and the world at whole? I meditate daily from a place of gratitude and this practice was observed by my children for years until one day my son asked if he could meditate with me before school each day. Not only did he pick up on the practice from his free will, but he did so finding the value in it for himself. It made him feel good to raise his awareness and be thankful each morning. Feeling good about yourself and the world at whole increases self worth, period.
2. Open communication & focus on ENCOURAGEMENT, NOT fear or doubt.
Communication is key! Whoever came up with that statement was so right!! Open communication with children is so important to building their self worth. Communication is not all about speaking, but listening as well. How many times do we hear our children yet are not listening because maybe we are on the phone? Well there’s no better way to discourage the child from ever sharing anything with you ever again. Please don’t do that. Instead listen to what your children have to say, looking at them directly in the eyes and I promise you, this will increase your child's self worth instantly. Everyone wants to feel important and valued. Talking about importance, how about including children in decisions, making family decisions? Whoa, you cannot even imagine how much of a positive impact this has on your child’s sense of self-worth and life at whole, teaching them how to make better decisions (which you will be thankful for when they’re adulting).
Now let’s talk about the speaking part of open communication. It’s important that children are able to talk to parents about everything without any guilt or shame. I make it a habit to ask about my children's day and let them know that they can tell me anything. Now this requires trust and trust building also requires authenticity from your side, the parent. You also have to be able to share your day with your children as well. Doing this will encourage your child to open up and from their free will which is fantastic!
Now to encouragement. Our children are our biggest fans and vice versa. If we don’t encourage them, who will? Never doubt a child's ability even if you’re just “joking” with your child because that one joke can literally create doubts in his or her head. Not only will they feel discouraged, but they will create a belief in the back of their mind that if “mom” or “dad” think I can’t or shouldn't, they are right. What they believe they can’t do is what they will fear from throughout their lives and fear isn't something a child should grow up with. This fearing belief of ‘cannot do’ will be carried throughout their lives and will hinder their belief in themselves. Belief in oneself is critical to increase self-worth and value. Always encourage your child’s performance in all areas of their lives and yes, their dreams and all the things they want to do as well. Encouragement with love, belief, and support will do wonders in creating children and young adults with high vibration frequency who ooze with self-worth and value.
3. Let children make use of their imaginations.
How many times have we (Yes, I’m guilty of it too!) told our children to cut it out when they seemed to be daydreaming? Or how about when we laughed at them when they told us about their dream job. For example, something as innocent as a 4 year old mind could think of, the dream of becoming an ice cream truck driver, selling ice cream to make everyone happy and make money. I always laughed it off and actually thought it was impressive that a mind so young thought about other peoples happiness and the value of making profit. Yup, that “lovely” example is of my own son who is now almost 13 years old and does not want me to remind him of that. Like ever. And like a great mother, what do I do? I definitely remind him of his innocence as a child but with a twist, telling him that he was smart enough at 4 to value happiness and yes, money (Money is not the root of all evil, please). At 13, he visions himself as the future CEO of a gaming company. I love it!!!!
So the point is, let children day dream. Let them vision. Give them the permission to see themselves doing the things they want to do and become one day. Let them practice being the mastermind manifesting powerhouses that they are. Imagination encourages creativity. Creativity encourages uniqueness. Recognizing and honoring uniqueness encourages self-worth.
4. DON’T BE AFRAID TO LET CHILDREN KNOW THAT THEY ARE THE BEST THING EVER!
This is a HUGE one! I promise you, your children won’t turn into arrogant self obsessed adults. Telling your child that they are the best versions of themselves each day encourages the child to evolve consistently, bettering themselves each time. It also helps the child to love themselves unconditionally while embracing their uniqueness. Why wouldn’t you want children who grow up to honor themselves? I think someone who grows up learning to honor themselves, honors everyone and everything else!