ASK YOURSELF: HAVE YOU BEEN KIND TODAY? MAKE KINDNESS YOUR DAILY MODUS OPERANDI AND CHANGE YOUR WORLD.
-Annie Lennox
Well, have you?
It would be easy to say “absolutely, I’m kind all the time.” But I know in MY heart that isn’t always true – and, if I’d have to guess, I’d say it isn’t always true for you either.
Why? Because life is challenging. We are constantly weaving through a maze of personalities, responsibilities, expectations, successes, fails, worries, requirements, dreams, personal highs and moments of utter exhaustion.
Kindness sounds simple, but in the face of ALL THAT, it just isn’t.
And that’s okay. The sooner we say it out loud and admit exactly what we are muddling through, the sooner we start to transform into a more mindful, supportive and engaged community.
Here are six tips for infusing kindness into daily life, even on the toughest days. The days when “just smile” isn’t the advice you need.
Keep this list in your back pocket and check in with us when you need an extra dose of love. We are always here, no matter what. #loveNJYC
BREATHE
I’ll never forget a piece of advice I received from an old friend, the one and only Ryan Perry. I was sitting in the cafeteria, totally annoyed by something completely inconsequential, and he said:
Take a deep breath in and count to three. Breathe out and count again. Then repeat to yourself “3, 2,1 – 1, 2, 3. What the heck is bothering me?”
Obviously I almost peed my pants laughing. Which means it worked – I didn’t have one angry bone left in my body. Plus it was my first foray into yogic breathing, even though I wasn’t aware of it.
Slowing down and smoothing the breath, counting the breath, and focusing on the breath helps to relax the body, calm the mind and sooth the muscles. It’s a wonderful way to move away from frustration, which undoubtedly makes space for kindness, mindfulness, compassion, intention and awareness.
FORGIVE
Dave Willis, the author of The Seven Laws of Love, wrote:
Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free.
So many of us waste time and energy building walls up against the people we believe “wronged” us in the past. We put them on a list, decide they aren’t worthy of our kindness because of “that one time…” when something happened (and who ever really even remembers “the thing” that happened?!) and toss their friendship to the curb.
Writing that run-on sentence was actually exhausting. Which makes sense, because grudges are exhausting. It’s time to stop dredging up the past just for the sake of holding onto the old hurts. Forgive and release – you’ll make space for more kindness.
TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR
Kindness is an inside job. If you are wasting time in the mirror, criticizing the beautiful, perfectly imperfect human who looks back at you, chances are you will waste a lot more time throwing shade at the people around you.
START LOVING YOURSELF.
Accept your crooked smile, your winky eye (that’s a personal one) and the zit that popped up while you were sleeping. Ditch the swirling dialogue about the money you make, the car you drive and the clothes you wear.
You are more than enough.
EXERCISE
Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t kill their husbands. They just don’t.– Elle Woods from “Legally Blonde” #truth
REMEMBER – YOU ARE WHO YOU HANG OUT WITH
This one comes straight from my dad.
Take a look at the five people you spend the most time with. Are they kind? If the answer is “NO” you need to consider expanding your friend circle to include a few souls who speak to how and why you want to live a kinder, more compassionate life.
Notice I didn’t tell you to kick the original five out of your world. Definitely don’t do that! Just understand who they are and how they are affecting you at this very moment. Give their opinions less weight and fortify your heart with conversations that remind you that it’s cool to be kind.
BE INSPIRED
We get hit from all sides with negative talk. TV, social media, water cooler talk – even pre-yoga rants when the studio owner forgets to put a sub in Mindbody and the yogi behind you looks about ready to throw a block at someone (BREATHE. Remember, the class you showed up for is the one you need. Also, 3, 2, 1 – 1, 2, 3 -what the heck is bothering me?)
I recently decided to change the conversation in my own mind by filling my nightstand up with good old fashioned books (you remember books, right? Those things with pages and no buttons, lights or chime sounds) that inspire me to live with sincerity, compassion, respect, generosity and patience.
My current favorites are Jillian Pransky’s Deep Listening and National Geographic’s Daily Kindness, which gives me a two minute check-in before I even touch my feet down on the carpet. Grabbing a daily dose of inspiration from the comfort of my own bed has changed my morning mindset exponentially (coupled with a few other AM rituals that will definitely up your kindness quotient too).
Quick tip: I also love Have You Filled a Bucket Today? A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids by Carol McCloud for story time with the kids. Because really, it’s THAT much easier to be kind all the time if the conversation starts early.
OKAY! THAT’S IT. LOVE YOU. IF YOU HAVEN’T HEARD IT YET TODAY, YOU ARE AWESOME. NOW GO PAY IT FORWARD. #BEKIND
This piece was first published by the NJ Yoga Collective.