On summer Sundays, one of the shows I enjoy is Food Network Star, it works for me on all counts, it’s about food, creativity, competition and personal and professional growth. So of course being an emotional intelligence coach and a leadership consultant, I couldn’t help but take note of some personal leadership takeaways from last night’s show that we can all use.
- Practice really does make perfect, or at least really close to it: One of the contestants, Martita, on this season, is a second chance contestant from the previous season, which means she has the advantage of having done this before and she has clearly used the time to hone her skills and perfect her message and craft. Martita always looks effortlessly polished and she consistently delivers. Don’t underestimate the value of practicing and honing your craft before your big break. Sometimes you don’t get the job or the opportunity because you are simply not ready. Malcolm Gladwell in his book the Tipping point, talks about the 10,000 hour rule - the idea that excellence can be attained after that much practice. Now I don’t know about that as a hard rule but yes, even if you are talented and gifted, you should perfect your gift and polish your gems.Too many people spend more of an effort on branding than they do on developing their expertise. Expertise can speak for you. Branding matters, getting in front of the right people matters, marketing and publicity matter, but none of that will get you far, if you haven’t honed your craft.
- Snark doesn’t always work, it just makes you look mean: So this season, there is a contestant from one of the Real Housewives shows and she seems to have a bit of a mean streak. Actually, I think it’s really just her way of masking her own insecurities and discomfort. Today, she referred to a fellow contestant who liked to eat healthy as someone who only ate seeds and diet coke…and the room got quiet. No-one really likes mean girls. In the real world, it doesn’t endear you to anyone and at the end of the day, people can lose respect for you. Snark is not being mean exactly but it’s tricky, it can go left really quickly and some people are snarky in one venue and control it in others, but what I find, is the way you do one thing, is the way you do most things and so eventually one thing bleeds into the other…so I just think, unless you are being paid for your satirical writing or snark, avoid it altogether.
- Even when you lose, be respectful about it: Tonight, one of the contestants was sent home and he basically threw a tantrum and at the end told the judges to suck it. He was completely overwhelmed by his emotions and was stuck because he didn’t get what he expected. His behavior was not only childish, it was short sighted because quite a few people have not won Food network star and gone on to still work for Food Network and other channels, so he may have burned quite a few bridges with his unfortunate comment. Don’t mortgage your future with the expectations of the past. Sometimes we get so stuck on what we want that we can’t let go when things don’t go the way we wanted them to go. We should all be a little more zen about life and understand that it all works together in the end, if we let it.This is why having an attitude of gratitude can transform your life. He couldn’t see that he had been given a wonderful opportunity, even if he didn’t win. He could have been grateful for that, grateful for the chance to look behind the veil of a successful media company, grateful for the exposure and more. Gratitude stops you from focusing on lack and points you back to abundance and possibility.
So that’s all she wrote folks. Next time, I'm going to break down what we can learn from the wonder that is Daenerys Targaryen. Note to self, next time you want to lean in and lead, fly into the meeting on your own dragon!
Remember live well and prosper.
Ekene Onu is a transformational coach and leadership trainer and consultant. She is also a motivational speaker and author and can be reached at her website, www.refreshforlife.com