“Natural hair isn’t for everyone.”
“She needs to comb her nappy hair.”
“Her hair is a mess ― hurry and get her the creamy crack”.
There are all comments I have read on my Facebook timeline.
In the African American community, feelings about natural hair tend to be strong.
For me and my daughters, being anything other than natural has never really been an option, in particular, for my teenaged daughter.
My 14-year-old daughter with Down Syndrome rarely cries. Almost never. I’ve witnessed her being stuck with needles, endure surgery, and even live with painful tummy issues, and not shed a single tear.
Unless it involves her hair.
As soon as she realizes that it’s time to wash her hair, she gets upset and turns red. And as I pour water over her hair, she starts to cry. When I make attempts to straighten it, she cries and screams. She has issues with sensory integration, and she is very sensitive to touch on her scalp. To her, hair-washing is excruciatingly painful.
When she was younger, we tried the “kiddie” relaxers a few times. She would cry, and even with the assistance of three people, she would push me away. She literally hated it, and I did too.
So five years ago I made the decision for my daughter Tayler to go natural, and I decided to join her. I watched various YouTubers to learn the correct way to take care of her hair.
From family and friends, we have always received positive feedback, but on social media, the natural hair comments I read are not always nice.
One of my Facebook friends posted a picture of her beautiful twist-out style. As I scrolled through the comments, they were positive, except for one statement from another African American female that essentially said “I don’t even like natural hair… but this style is ok.”
My heart sank a little. I couldn’t understand the concept of not liking hair that is a natural part of the body. I thought to myself, “Great, one more thing my 14-yr-old has to deal with.”
I wonder if her peers feel that same way.
I’m an adult and my “care-what-people-think” meter was thrown out of the window several years ago, but she is a teen. Opinions matter to her.
My 14-year-old is essentially non-verbal, but she has a beautiful gift of receptive language. She understands through direction, tone, and facial expression.
Because she is nonverbal and often makes loud noises, we are used to stares from others, but I wonder if we get the “Blue Ivy” comments too?
I know that as a mom, I can’t “force” women of color to love their natural hair, but I really wish more were accepting of it.
“In my perfect world, more women and men would think before making negative natural hair statements.”
In my perfect world, more women and men would think before making negative natural hair statements, because while they are degrading natural hair, they are degrading me and my daughter, for we are both natural.
Our natural hair journey has been a beautiful one. I have gained longer, healthier hair, and I think tougher skin. My daughter’s hair is growing, despite her hypothyroidism.
“Our natural hair journey has been a beautiful one. I have gained longer, healthier hair, and I think tougher skin.”
Tayler loves her hair and thinks it is beautiful. She loves to look in the mirror, toss her twist-out, and admire her hair.
I hope one day, more women will join us in our journey and do the same.
You can read more about Keli & Tayler’s journey at www.keligooch.com.