The other day, I was speaking with a group of millennials at a casual hangout. I was touching on the importance of working hard, being ambitious, and going boldly after your dreams. Mid-conversation, someone stopped me and said “You know you’re only 19, right? Why are you trying to write books and be a role model for kids? Like, you should be chilling and carefree”. My answer came out something like “I’m a creative person and if people choose to be inspired by me, then that’s amazing”.
I really wanted to politely tap this person on the shoulder and assure them that while 19 isn’t old, it isn’t young either. It’s just an age-a number attached to your birth certificate. Sure, being 19 is quite a complex stage in any young person’s life. At times, you can feel like the world is spinning around you. However, I have been ambitious since age six and have been writing my visions in my notebooks for years so I refuse to live beneath my potential. Plus, everything I have comes from my discipline, God-given glow and positive energy, but I digress.
During the ride home, a part of me was still taken aback. I couldn’t believe that a fellow young person, brimming with talent, could be so nonchalant about life in general. This person said I was only 19, as if I should just stop where I’m at and wait till 30 to be the amazing person I’ve always wanted to be. To me, that kind of mindset is baffling, confusing, and sad. I asked myself “well, what should I be doing at this age?’ I grew incredibly self-conscious and wondered if there was something wrong with me.
For an hour and a half, I made mental lists of all the ways I could be a normal 19 year old girl. The first thing on my list was to stop telling people all my wild dreams. I didn’t want to make others uncomfortable. Then, I literally screamed at myself, in my head of course. I reminded myself that all my life I tried to conform and shrink myself out of the fear that people would think I was “too much” or trying too hard. I reminded myself how hard I fought to be the woman I am today. I couldn’t believe how I let others’ expectations limit me as a person.
Then, I thought long and hard about it. The comment affected me because I feel misunderstood every day of my life because I’d rather hang out at the nearest bookstore alone than at the local club. So, the whole back and forth banter of “you need to chill, hang out, go to parties, and date more” isn’t new to me. I hear it all day every day. People just expect a 19 year old girl to simply date and be on the party scene. And, that’s fine.
Even I like to have fun. But, I also like to work. I like to work just as hard as I play. I realize that the seeds I plant now will be the foundation of the garden I’ll have when I’m 30, 40, and 50. I’ve always said that by 30, I’ll be a millionaire. People have told me even that is too ambitious because of my-you guessed it-age. (Since I’m a person who speaks things into existence, this will come to fruition). Basically, what I’m saying is: why do we limit ourselves by our age, specifically our youth?
For the young and ambitious girl, life can be hard. Sometimes I feel like certain people reduce me because of my age. They treat me as if my age is a determining factor in what I will achieve. They think I shouldn’t have an opinion or shouldn’t know what I want because I’m a young woman. A young black woman, at that. It becomes exhausting explaining yourself to people who just don’t get it. On the other hand, I get that our elders and older counterparts usually have more wisdom due to their vast life experience. I get that we’re coming up in a world that our parents and grandparents have seen much differently than we have.
But, discrediting the youth is part of the reason why the world is in shambles now. When we demonstrate to our youth that being young is entirely all about being careless with your life and your time, we set kids up for failure. When we expect less of our kids, they don’t strive. We should encourage kids to aim high and teach kids that time is so valuable and each moment needs to be spent creating good habits. Let’s face it, a lot of the bad habits you have, you developed in your youth. The things you did at 17 can sometimes come back and bite you in the butt later. So, why not be intentional now about who you want to be in the future? That’s why I’m redefining the word youth.
I think for me, youth means innovation, intellect, and bravery. It means that we have the brain power to construct new ideologies and new ways of thinking. We have the advantage of not seeing as much of the world but having the worldview of a person who has a wealth of information at their fingertips. I mean, if there’s something you want to know, Google is your best friend. To think I, Miss Black Michigan, am representing a generation that is so fast-paced, so interactive, and so thirsty for knowledge, is very exciting. It makes me want to research and Google away too.
Because of the social-media age, it is important to talk to people face-to-face. It’s important for young people to be in spaces with other young people and share their knowledge and different perspectives. So throughout my reign, I’m going to places where the youth are rarely reached and often told their voices don’t matter. I went to the Boys and Girls Club and I’m going to the juvenile detention center because that’s where the real change lies. I believe the children are the future, and that’s not a reason for me to start singing Whitney Houston. I truly believe that. If we don’t empower kids to be the greatest versions of themselves, how is the world going to advance? If you think we’re not qualified, you’re sadly mistaken.
Children naturally have a light in them that is unexplainable. They haven’t been tarnished by the world and societal pressures. Young children are truly comfortable within themselves; only when others point out their differences as odd, do kids retreat to social norms. Unconsciously, we teach kids to be normal and to be like everyone else, mainly because we’re afraid of how the world will perceive them if they’re the other.
And I’m sorry, I’m just not one of those normal kids. I’m not the kid who wants to blend in with the crowd. I tried multiple times and it never benefited me. It wasn’t until I became authentically and unapologetically me that I began to receive blessings. To be completely honest, I don’t even associate with people who are followers. Everyone I know leads in some form or fashion, whether that’s in their social activism or their art.
During this tense social climate, I think we need young people more now than ever. We need them to show up on social media, in the polls, on television. We need that young voice. So when a young person voices their concerns, their feelings, and their opinions, don’t tell them to be quiet. Tell them that their voices matter and can evoke change in a world that doesn’t often cater to them.
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