Seeded, Chapter 15 "The Year of Resolution"

I spent a couple of weeks in jail a few years ago... Twin Towers Correctional Facility in downtown Los Angeles to be exact. Just before, I nearly got kicked out of a mental institution.

Fortunately, neither can be found on my permanent record.

We were shooting Sardines, a horror film I’d co-written, financed and was attempting to produce. The mental institution was abandoned, but after we’d failed to get the necessary permits, we were trespassing, filming under the cloak of darkness between midnight and 4:00am.

There was too much expensive equipment and far too many people to make a run for it when the officers pulled up. We instead tried to play it cool and convince them that we had a permit. It was the middle of the night, so there was no way for them to verify our claims... but they saw right through our BS. Trying to convince quickly, and unnecessarily, escalated, and one of our producers was just a few choice words away from handcuffs and an earlier than expected trip to jail.

“Is that Vida Guerra?”

By that point, the entire cast and crew had gathered to witness the commotion. And, being that it was in fact Vida Guerra, the situation quickly deescalated. The officers, wanting to stick around and watch, let us finish shooting... even working themselves into a scene.

We did actually have permits to shoot at Twin Towers Correctional Facility. Each night, just before midnight, four guards would escort us to an unoccupied section of the facility. Inmates were instructed to turn, chest pressed against the wall, until we passed. It was sad, scary, motivating and real. There under different circumstances, I don’t think I would’ve lasted.

We shot for nearly three weeks... three of the best weeks of my life. I was with my best friend and business partner, a talented and tireless cast and crew, and enjoying In-N-Out twice a day. There is no feeling quite like hearing your written words spoken and seeing your characters come to life, especially that first time.

The memory though, the one that sticks with me above all else... ripping into a hapless associate producer for spending $24 on a case of water. Unless you buy each bottle individually from a vending machine, I still don’t understand how the hell you spend $24 on a case of water...

But that wasn’t really the point. Overpriced water just gave me the context to do what I should have done, without all the pent up frustration, several days prior. He was a ‘me first’ guy and always quick to point out a problem, yet never seemed to offer up a solution. I think he was just looking for a credit for his IMDB profile with as little actual work as possible.

Unfortunately, I have this awful habit of delaying the inevitable and pushing off difficult decisions and potential confrontations... thinking and hoping these undesirable situations will just sort of resolve themselves. This was the latest in a life filled with ignore, ignore, ignore, explode, explain.

As most people do this time of year, I was reflecting on another year gone by and thinking about the year ahead. I’ve never been one for resolutions... which is certainly not to say I couldn’t stand to benefit from a better diet, more time at the gym, more sleep, gratitude, reflection, and countless other things to improve myself. But there I was, stuck in traffic on New Year’s Eve with no specific place to be, annoyed as hell.

The realization... this near constant state of frustration, where seemingly trivial things get under my skin, is driven by the burden of unresolved situations.

So, still stuck at a red light, I decided this would be the year of resolution and decisiveness. The year I take a bit of my own medicine and get to yes or no quickly by eliminating maybe. There will no doubt be mistakes, but mistakes create opportunities to learn and grow. And I’m confident the memories created by actions taken will far outweigh the regrets of gutless avoidance.

Plus, successful people never seem to be in a hurry.