Over the years I have noticed that online dating APS have had a tremendous influence on the way singles interact with each other.
While online dating is arguably one of the greatest gifts presented to mankind, always leaving us with plenty of opportunities to connect and form meaningful relationships without depending on family, friends, and social circles, it can also have a lot of harmful effects.
The most notable side effect of dating APS is the paradox of choice that it presents to its users.
She has a barely visible mole above her lip? Next. He has blue eyes and I prefer green? Next.
The endless opportunities to swipe left and right will often cause men and women to become paralyzed by choice, always searching for that next great thing, and of course, never feeling fully satisfied.
It’s akin to going to being presented with an all you can eat buffet when you are starving and having an endless list of options. Except at this fantasy buffet, one can never gain weight or become full. But on the other hand, one never feels fully satisfied.
In the process of searching for what is perceived perfection, many ultimately miss out on a whole lot of incredible people and potential life long relationships.
Perhaps even more notable, the paralyzing amount of options creates so many distractions that many people never actually wind up arranging dates. In the constant pursuit of the next best thing, swiping and superficial conversations lead to nowhere and repeat on an endless loop.
Dating APS often become an endless period of swiping left and right without many real and genuine interactions taking place. A vast minority of people take each other seriously and those that are hopeful often lose faith and hope in the process very quickly after one too many superficial interactions.
In contrast, dating sites that focus more on logging onto a computer, crafting emails that feel more like emails than instant messages, and taking a bit more time with the process are more likely to encourage meaningful connections.
While these more mature dating sites such as Match.Com and Eharmony certainly do run into similar issues as dating APS, these issues are less intense and often don’t place as much emphasis on the physical appearance of the other person.
If society is ever going to find true success with Dating APS forming long term connections, they simply must place an emphasis on both physical attraction and meaningful conversations, otherwise the majority of success stories will be attributed to luck.
As for the time being, your best odds of finding success with online dating will be to keep clear of the dating APS. Bumble is a step in the right direction, but the Dating AP world has to do better than Tinder and most of its other representatives that are created in a similar vein.
For some free advice from Joshua Pompey, including how his female client’s results went up 3,400 percent using a professional profile writer, read this case study. For male advice on how to improve your online dating success, read this article on attracting quality women online.