Hint: It has nothing to do with academics!
Sure academic ability doesn’t hurt, coming from a wealthy family or having the face and figure of a super model doesn’t hurt either. But I’m autistic, I feel satisfied with my life and none of those things have ever described me. It’s completely possible to be on the autistic spectrum, not be a super human savant, and still grow up to be a happy adult. It took me over 30 years to figure out what I really needed in order to thrive, and it’s something that could have been known earlier and have made an impact in my life from a much younger age. It won’t sound like rocket science and you might feel annoyed that you went to all the trouble of clicking on this link just to read it, but before you roll your eyes and close this page take a minute to really contemplate what I’m about to say. The secret to success - for all people - is putting more focus on our gifts than we do our challenges. It’s important to work on things that challenge us, but if we don’t put the priority on acknowledging and enjoying what we do well then we loose sight of who we are. What’s the point of over coming our challenges if there’s nothing of ourselves left?
Image From: The Gifts of Autism
Unfortunately it can sometimes be hard to differentiate which gifts have potential of developing into a career and which don’t. I’m a psychotherapist with autism – and both my children have autism – and I give talks to parents and professionals around strategies for helping young people on the spectrum. Surprisingly I’ve had more than one person come up to me after a talk and tell me that they’re working with someone on the spectrum, but “that person isn’t clever like you.” It’s odd to get a complement that insults someone else and is based on a complete lack of information about me, and likely a lack of information about the other person. In all cases the person making that kind of statement did not know how much I struggled in school, how bad my spelling still is, how poor my handwriting still is. But none of that means I’m not smart, it just means I struggled in school. If someone struggles in school but loves to bake they can still be brilliant, they’re just a brilliant baker rather than a brilliant academic. If someone loves something that requires more academic ability they’ll figure it out, like I have with writing.
Image From: The Gifts of Autism
I guess the secret of success depends on how we define success. If we define success as being Bill Gates most of us are going to be disappointed, but I suspect most parents want their children to grow up to be able to support themselves, make connections with others and be happy. Those three criteria are a lot more accessible when we learn to celibate our gifts. It makes sense because when we do that we then naturally seek out jobs and people who also recognize and appreciate what we have to offer. If all we ever focus on is how to over come our challenges then the subconscious message is that the standard for success is managing to obtain a lifestyle that never felt right for us.
Image From:The Gifts of Autism
The pictures in this article are all from my book The Gifts of Autism, which is an A-Z of the possible gifts that someone on the spectrum might have. It’s intended for children 8-12 and contains worksheets along with my written permission to make unlimited copies of the pages for use with student, parents or professionals. Available on Amazon.
For more information on myself and upcoming speaking engagements please visit TheSensitivitySpectrum.com