The Art of Motivational Listening, Author Adam G. Fleming
In our crazy adrenaline pumping fast paced world this book is a timely message for all leaders to internally reflect on the quality of their listening skills. I personally believe that the greatest speakers have invested innumerable hours with their ears to the ground to hear what the unaware allow to disappear into the winds of hollow conversation.
To listen to someone else without judgement and vast openness is a gift of selflessness and a submission of ego to humility. I was immediately impacted by the profound insight laced throughout each page and was able to put to use when I recently met with a friend. As a result of being fully present for over an hour I discovered priceless treasures that I would have missed had I been the motivational speaker rather than the motivational listener. Adam states that the strongest reason individuals talk with us is primarily for our listening skill not our advice.
Pause to Ponder: Am I speaking to listen or listening to speak?
When we focus on becoming better listeners than speakers there is no need to be consumed with having the best answers. We create a space filled with intrigue, wonder and curiosity by asking questions that allow the other party to reveal a hidden world that only the soul seeker can discover.
In this reflective work Adam asks specific questions pertaining to his philosophy of listening. 1) Are we listening for something specific? 2) What will be helpful to listen for? 3) If we want people to walk away from our conversation motivated, what will we have to hear?
Ultimately, we will nurture a space where people feel free to grow and progress. This is greatly influenced by the desire to pursue truth and trust the process to unfold naturally. To sharpen your listening skills Adam recommends that you read with abandon the type of books that make you laugh, cry and think about humanity.
Pause to Ponder: The last time I listened with intentionality I felt…and began to…
Lastly, here are a few of my favorite jewels for the journey in the Art of Motivational Listening:
1) The motivational listener must stay alert and focused during the mundane moments of life. You’re looking for signs, and you don’t get too many chances to see the big ones, but you only know the unusual by first knowing the usual.
2) The act of listening to another human says something words cannot say. “You are valued.” What’s in your heart is worth hearing, and what’s in the deepest part of your spirit-your biggest dreams-are important. Your past is meaningful. And your now is worth sharing.”
3) My biggest fear is regret, and my biggest regret is living in fear.
If you are looking for meaningful exchange with others it will require that you slow down. If you are too busy to listen, you might be creating an empty existence filled with meaningless minutiae. The next time you are tempted to offer one of your brilliant answers pause for a moment and ask a powerful question that could shift not just the conversation but an entire life.
Purchase your copy here The Art of Motivational Listening.