Somehow, those closest in proximity can become way more than strangers and neighbors - they can end up as steadfast friends you never saw coming.
Hell hath no fury like the annoying habits of coworkers. Sneezing, complaining, chewing, coughing, spewing about being overworked or underpaid, chatting on personal calls, slurping tea all day or sucking away on a lollipop every afternoon at 3. Especially in the overdone “open office” environment, and in companies where cubicles or partial cubicles are close enough where people can hear every move you make. But what about when these nearby work neighbors become comforting, amazing friends despite the supposed obstacles? When you leave a job, sometimes you leave someone behind that mattered so much to your day-to-day routine and happiness that you are shocked how much she or he actually added to your day-to-day life. These are the coworkers it hurts to leave behind.
Lucky enough to have almost always had great bosses and direct reports over the years – at many great companies – I now feel equally grateful to have had those cubicle and office neighbors who I came to consider friends. They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, and that every goodbye brings up memories of past breaks. I think that’s true for many of us in love, in life and in work. A recent goodbye to a company I loved was hard. Trying to replace a great corporate culture, fabulous team and sense of purpose is hard, too. But it’s the little things, like my old coworker neighbors, that sometimes I still miss most.
Don’t take yours for granted. That person you chat away with every morning, who commiserates with you about running late, your sick kid or unforeseen traffic? That person may become a true friend you pour your heart out to during a break-up or confide in about an endless series of medical tests. It may be the person who ends up marching through the office searching for boxes for your upcoming move, or the one who hands you a tissue before your tears fall when you’re packing up your stuff on your last day.
In the beginning, and maybe even in the middle. of your time at a company, these are not people who have known you the best or longest. At first, they know the “work you.” But sometimes, fate plops you next to someone that is going to be a major part of your everyday life, day in and day out, five days a week, eight hours a day, year after year. And there is comfort in that comradery when you actually hit it off. They know how you like your coffee – even when you are switching it up and trying a no-sugar week. They know your son played Friday night football and ask how the game went first thing Monday morning. They know you have heartburn from lunch and toss you over a Tums.
Think about it. How many people are there for you like that about all the little things, day after day? Away from the pressures of home and safer outside of your normal social network, it can be easier to let your guard down, joke around, and say things you might not ever tell your best friend or significant other.
One minute you may be borrowing their umbrella and the next thing you know, they know your secrets. They seem like less risky people to tell. They may not know your family and friends. They have no hidden agenda. They’re just there for you every day. And you for them.
We all have a work identity to grow and protect. But you may be surprised, when it’s time to walk away, how much that wall between your coworker neighbor and you broke down. And why you miss them, months later, on a particularly trying or lonely day.
The hum-drum of everyday work life can get people down. Maybe you want to shake things up when they become so predictable - the beeps the computer makes when you log on at 8:45 am, standing meeting schedules, email overload, daily deadlines. But those neighbor coworkers? That’s one part of the predictability and familiarity that may never get old.
When you’re gone, you’ll miss them. You’ll remember them fondly and wish someone would say “How was that new pizza place you were going to last night?” or “Do you need an Advil for that headache?”
The times and ties that bind us aren’t always the big things, but the little things in life. We work to live, not live to work. But I’ll never forget my work neighbors who made life better.