I was reading the other day about the new "big news" about Jesse James. No, not Jesse James the old gunslinger. I am talking about the Jesse James who is still technically married to our favorite The Blind Side Oscar winner Sandra Bullock.
The big new development in this saga is that Jesse James apparently didn't just cheat with that woman who is tattooed from head to toe, but has actually cheated with multiple women. They say he may have had as many as ten lovers over the last ten years.
People are outraged to learn this. Poor Sandra! I talked in my blog last week about 'poor Sandra' getting cheated on by Jesse James.
The only story about this whole thing seems to be that another innocent woman has been cheated on by a guy who couldn't keep his penis in his pants. Once again, though, there are so many assumptions being made with this being the only storyline.
We have no idea what their sex life was like. None.
Sandra could have been frigid. Sandra could have been awful in bed. Sandra herself could have been cheating. Sandra could have been so busy all the time, that she had no time for her man.
Nobody ever seems to look at the person being cheated on as anything more than just a victim. This is ridiculous.
Who cares if Jesse James had ten lovers, twenty lovers or fifty lovers? It doesn't make a difference with how many people someone cheats.
There are some guys who will always cheat. There are some guys who can never stay loyal. It doesn't matter if they're happy or sad in their relationship. They will always cheat. They just like the thrill of new women.
There are other guys, however, who cheat for so many other reasons. Nobody wants to write about that though.
Nobody wants to write about Sandra. Everybody just feels so badly because she is an Oscar winner and a privileged celebrity who has been cheated on by a man.
At least one of the questions we should be asking here is how did she treat him? Does anyone ever stop even for a second to wonder how Sandra treated Jesse?
Might there have been any reason why he went and cheated? Could it perhaps have been that the sex at home was nonexistent, or maybe she was too busy for anything but work?
You don't know and, the truth is, that none of us know. Once again, though, we are judging people without knowing all the facts.
Now everyone is even more outraged than ever before because of the discovery that this man cheated on Sandra with multiple women. Once again, the man is portrayed as being totally at fault.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a man, but I am not defending all men who cheat. Just a few paragraphs earlier I said that there are a lot of men who cheat just for the sake of cheating and because they enjoy the chase.
So before you get all crazy thinking that I'm just a man basically protecting other men, I'm not. What I am trying to do, though, is to tell you to look more deeply into things.
There are reasons why people cheat. I've written about this in one of my recent blogs.
People cheat for many different reasons. We need to stop looking at someone who is cheated on as an automatic victim, and realize that many times the person being cheated on is actually a cause of the other person cheating. It takes two in a relationship.
So look at your own relationships, and look in the mirror. Every time something goes wrong in your relationship, are you a blamer? Do you blame the other person for everything that went wrong, or do you look in the mirror and realize that you were also part of the communication breakdown or whatever happened.
So, let's stop judging Jesse James, and let's start thinking that this was a two-way street.
I'd love to sit down and interview Sandra Bullock, our little darling Oscar winner. I guarantee that if I had the opportunity to sit down with her, that I could come up with probably three or four reasons why Jesse James cheated on her.
She's not as innocent as she looks. She might be a serial cheater. Maybe he is a guys who always liked to chase (and to cheat), but I bet there is a pretty good chance that America's new sweetheart had a lot to do with it.