Real Life. Real News. Real Voices.
Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard.
Join HuffPost Plus
thinner_close_xCreated with Sketch.
THE BLOG

26 Things Only Dog Owners Understand

This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

The day you brought Buddy home still feels like yesterday. And you've probably documented every moment of his life--from tiny fledgling puppy to full-grown dog who finally learned to pee outside. Well, most of the time. Ahead: that and 25 other things only dog owners can relate to.

2016-03-21-1458567510-6534873-dog1.jpg

1. That there is no spooning sleeping companion like a dog.

2. Even if Cooper is somehow stretched out perpendicularly, taking up half the bed.

3. Alarm clock? We haven't slept past 6 a.m. in years.

4. Your morning dog-walking crew is basically the Breakfast Club of your block.

5. And thank God--because you just ran out of poop bags.

2016-03-21-1458567569-3721495-dogtilt.jpg

6. There is no joy like seeing Izzie tilt her head and stare deep into your soul, lovingly.

7. OK fine... maybe it's because you've got bacon in your hands.

8. The subsequent realization that you are literally the master of the universe because you are the gatekeeper of food.

9. And that this "bang bang, stick 'em up" routine is your life's single greatest accomplishment.

2016-03-21-1458567608-9248299-dog3.jpg

10. The fact that Duke's Instagram account has more followers than your personal one.

11. And that you have more photos of him on your phone than of your own family.

12. And that you maybe on a daily basis consider quitting your job and devoting your life to making him the next Toast Meets World.

Related: What Your Favorite Dog Breed Says About You

2016-03-21-1458567674-4671506-dog4.jpg

13. Two words: lobster costumes.

14. Three words: Halloween parade winner.

15. Ten words: Bella is the most popular girl in the dog park.

16. Oh, and that little scuffle? That other dog started it. Obviously.

17. Because she is usually perfect--just maybe a little thrown off by a visit to the groomer.

18. On that note: You're never grooming her yourself again after last time.

19. Because dear Lord, your bathtub...

2016-03-21-1458567710-2736349-dog5.jpg

20. It's enough that you don't even bat an eye at a territorial leg hike on your fiddle-leaf fig tree.

21. Or that cleaning up pillow stuffing has become second nature.

22. Or that you have to baby-proof your closet door for the rest of your foreseeable future.

2016-03-21-1458567747-7469030-dog6.jpg

23. But it's made all the more worth it by the greeting Oakley gives you after you're gone for 30 seconds to grab the mail.

24. OK, maybe you'll step outside again just for kicks.

2016-03-21-1458567784-9259722-dog7.jpg

25. That the phrase "gotta run home to take out the dog" is secret code for "I really just want to watch The Bachelor alone in peace" and has relieved you from many a social situation you'd just really rather avoid.

26. And the fact that that's a perfectly worthy excuse for getting a dog in the first place: to cuddle up next to you on the couch...even if you're still holding that plate of bacon.

Related:

Also on HuffPost:

The Best Cleaning & Organizing Tips