One valuable thing that I’ve taken from leftist ideology is the concept of self-criticism. This is a practice of looking back upon one’s actions and reckoning with how they may have gone against your beliefs.
I need to self-criticize and apologize to a specific woman, Graceanne Parks. I did something to her that I should not have.
One belief that I strongly hold, which has only been intensified by what Wikipedia calls the “Weinstein effect,” is that Western society, and the U.S. in particular, is fundamentally patriarchal. Patriarchy exists like white supremacy does - it is a system of institutions, cultural norms, and belief systems that pervades every aspect of our society.
Rape culture is a part of patriarchy, and it involves the practice of shaming women for how they react to sexual assault, abuse, or harassment. One important way to counteract that, I would argue, is to support women, who are much more likely to become victims than men are.
I did not support Graceanne Parks the way I should have. I am not saying that she is a victim of anything - that is for her to decide. But she is a woman and if I consider myself principled and an ally of feminism and an enemy of patriarchy, then I should have supported her, even when it did not suit me personally.
I publicly posted private messages she had sent to several people, which I had received from the recipients, to prove a point that ultimately was not even about Graceanne. I used her words, which were not meant for me or for the world at large, against her.
It doesn’t matter what point I was trying to prove - I should not have done this and I deeply regret it. This reminds me that, no matter how good of an ally I consider myself, I will always be susceptible to making these types of lapses in good judgment.
I am formally and publicly apologizing to Graceanne Parks for what I did. There is no excuse, and doing the wrong thing for (what I thought were) the right reasons is still the wrong thing.
I will learn from this and do better in the future.