A Time to Laugh

I admit that I’m a little down today. I miss my twin sister who would be 44 years old this week if she had been able to hold on to life a little longer. She spent years of her life tormented with depression, borderline personality disorder and bipolar. In spite of her struggle with mental illness, she found glimpses of light in the corniest and silliest of jokes. Her favorite was, “What did the Mama tomato say to the baby tomato who was lagging behind as they went on their afternoon walk?” “Ketch-up.” Katie would then say “Get it… ? Catch up… like Ketchup! Haha!” I think I enjoyed her explaining as much as the joke!

To honor my late sister, I would like to share some really corny jokes. These have been collected by friends and family over the years, over facebook, and over a laugh together. If you are having a rough day, maybe these next few paragraphs will brighten your day.

Q: What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

A: A hippo is heavy; a Zippo is a little lighter.

Get it? A Zippo is a name brand of an actual fire producing device and it weighs less than a hippopotamus! Ha!

(Special thanks to Jamie Brewington Fulsang)

So a bear walks into a fast food restaurant. The cashier asks for his order and he says, “I will take a large Diet Coke and a cheese…...burger.” “Ok. But, I have to ask, why the big pause?” “Because I’m a bear.” he quips.

Get it? As if a bear ordering at a restaurant wasn’t funny enough, he had big paws, not just the the timed delay in his ordering. Funny, huh?

(Special thanks to Jay Pongonis, but I changed it a little)

Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was a salted.

Get it? Like not like physically threatened; it was sprinkled with Sodium Chloride. Funny right?

(Special thanks to Dean Phelps)

Q: What’s green and has wheels?

A: Grass; I was just kidding about the wheels.

(Jeni Lee’s favorite joke which says something about her, doesn’t it!)

A magician was driving down the road when he turned into a driveway.

Get it! He didn’t turn into a rabbit; he turned in...to a driveway, like when you get to your house and steer towards the garage… haha!

(Special thanks to Bo Parker, my favorite joke teller of all times)

Q: Where does the president keep his armies?

A: In his sleevies.

Haha! Get it? The whole presidential notion is just a distraction. You have to think like a five year old who has armies in sleevies and leg-ies in pants-ies!

(This one came from 1st grade teacher Erin Edmonson, so blame her!)

A midget fortune teller broke out of prison. The newspaper’s headline read, “Small Medium at Large.”

Get it. He was a little person. Another name for fortune tellers is a “medium” and “at large” means that he is on the lamb or escaped! Haha! Completely corny!

(I’ve been telling it too long to remember who shared that one with me.)

Two clowns were eating a cannibal and one says to the other, “I don’t think we got this joke right.” This is my favorite joke because it actually assumes that you know it’s much better predecessor “Two cannibals were eating a clown when one says to the other, “Something tastes funny”.” The idea that it is clowns sets us up for the joke which in this case is the mis-telling of the joke that ironically involves clowns. Haha! This joke is actually most fun to tell someone who doesn’t get it.

Just in typing these jokes, I started to smile. I hope that if you are ever having a tough day and missing someone you love, that you might turn to humor. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says for there is a “A time to cry; A time to laugh; A time to grieve; A time to dance.” It just might be time to do both. Tell a joke. Explain it if want or have to. Either way, take time to laugh and you just might be able to deal with a rough day a little better.

Love one. Love another.

Jack

* this article was also published in the Gulf Breeze News, 8/17/2017