Those moms, yes those moms -- walking around school smiling, knowing every teacher and most of the kids by name. At every soccer game with extra water for the kid who forgot. Baking for teachers and volunteering in class each week. They are on every PTA committee, teachers can rely on them for help, they do fundraising and even agree to host neighborhood porch parties. Their kids are busy with music and sports and schedules. Does any of this sound familiar?
I think I first noticed them 3 years ago. Walking around with that air of having it all together -- school, kids, marriage, home etc. You start questioning yourself -- Am I supposed to be doing more? Are my kids going to lose out because I can't bake and be at every PTA meeting? I often have a conference call during soccer practice! And then the mean, judgemental, guilty mom kicks in and you tell yourself they are obviously bored stay at home moms with nothing to do and they need to be this type of crazy Alpha Mom so they can feel better about themselves. Yes, definitely mean!
Now, fast-forward to present day and my confession that yes, I have become an Alpha Mom or some form of it. As soon as I left my full-time job and started my own business my type A personality needed more structure and something to do. I dived into being the most involved mom -- websites, agendas, processes and proposals was just the start and it continued. Everything had a schedule including my kids' lives from 7:00 a.m. until bedtime and of course not only was I at every soccer game with extra water and at every school meeting but I also became the chair of the PTA and hosted the porch party. It took a while but the realization hit - this was not good thing! Being an involved, on-time, organized mom was great but not at the expense of it taking over every part of my being. Remember moms -- don't forget about YOU!
So, the question is are you an Alpha Mom or not? Labels can be dangerous and the term Alpha Mom is evolving and morphing as all of us, stay at home moms and working moms strive for that balance of being the best. This includes being part of our kids' lives, having meaningful moments with our families and remembering ourselves. Yes, being involved and having everything running smoothly is great, but it should not consume us. Realizing all of this is when your Supermom kicks in -- knowing what you can do and what you should step away from. My opinion is we are all some degree of a "Crazy Alpha Mom" and you know what, that's absolutely okay!