If you ask me the one thing I want most in life, it is not the house with the white picket fence, not a baby, not even a million dollars (ok maybe a million dollars).
What I want most is a mentor – a real, live mentor to call my very own. And for the life of me I can’t figure out why it is so hard to find one.
You think it would be easy with the amount of networking groups multiplying daily, the newfound initiatives within corporate structure encouraging mentorship (sometimes even forcing it).
But it’s not - at least it’s not for me, and many of the ambitious, intelligent, like-minded individuals that I call my friends.
It is as though finding a mentor is almost as complex as dating. It is exciting, emotional, captivating, disappointing and can be filled with trepidation.
The initial meeting - the crush, the desire to impress. The hope they ask for your email…or the adrenaline rush of asking for theirs. The first date - the nervous energy, sharing your story, your passions; not wanting to seem overeager or coming on too strong. The inevitable gush of admiration, immediately followed by casual nonchalance.
The follow-up - will s/he call, won’t s/he? Do I reach out first? Should I wait another day? (DO I SOUND DESPERATE!? Probably, yes. Crap.)
I thought I found “the one” a couple times, only to have the relationship fizzle and fade as said would-be mentor stopped responding once I left the company, rescheduled drinks for the third time, or gave haphazard advice that seemed more self-serving and than serving me any purpose at all.
The problem it seems is mentors aren’t really looking for mentees - not outright that is. And I get it - mentors tend to be accomplished, interesting and therefore extremely busy individuals. However, as Michelle Obama said in 2012, “When
You’ve worked hard, and done well, and walked through that doorway of opportunity...you do not slam it shut behind you...you reach back, and you give other folks the same chances that helped you succeed.”
Maybe I don’t see slamming, but I sure don’t see too much reaching back.
Now this is not meant as a dig at those successful people who haven’t given back to the younger generations, but rather intended as a proposal of sorts…
While I may have hated dating, I am impressed, some might even say intrigued (ok fine, FASCINATED), by what the digital era has brought to courtship. So I ask, what if finding a mentor/finding a mentee…giving one’s time - was just as simple as say…Tinder?
Swipe left, swipe right. Send a nod, get a match, start a conversation, make a date.
Mentor and mentee profiles - “30, Los Angeles, Connected through George Lucas (I wish). Went to NYU. Works at The Best Company. About Me: Witty tagline that makes me seem intellectually attractive, worth investing time in, and all together a well-adjusted, ambitious human.”
Okay well perhaps that is a bit rudimentary, but you get the overall idea – streamlining the process, allowing those with not so much time to still give back, but doing so on their own schedule…and in a casual way.
Once the match is made we still may go through the insufferable waves of emotion – but at least we know they WANT to be a mentor, and have the opportunity to do so in a more non-committal way. From there it is really up to us mentees to screw it up… or make it count.
So Tinder, Match.com, eHarmony…I am waiting, and am VERY available.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.