The Funniest Posts From Women This Week (Sept. 27-Oct. 3)

everyone else’s birthday is on the most random possible day whereas mine is on the day where it’s like ok yeah this is a birthday

— ً (@soyaranoor) September 28, 2025

today I saw a cute and conventionally attractive couple kissing on the subway and instead of taking a pic and plastering them all over the internet I just internalized my own bitterness about being single and contemplated texting my ex like a normal person

— abby govindan (@abbygov) September 28, 2025

making friends as an adult is wild because there's so much lore to catch up on

you'll be 3 years in and still get random drops like “oh btw i used to be married”

— maja 🔭🍒 (@majamediaco) September 30, 2025

imagine you get murdered and some girl skips your episode of forensic files bc it’s boring

— ae (@lannnary) September 30, 2025

i wanna know about the wild goose chase that cemented the phrase

— Sydney Battle (@SydneyBattle) September 26, 2025

i used to have this mental illness where i thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind

— denz (@diomuarr) September 27, 2025

I don't subscribe to any magazines, but if they came out with "Good Enough Housekeeping," that's one I might read.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) September 29, 2025

Do you ever drive for like a solid 15 minutes, thinking about something incredibly random and stupid, and then you're like, "Were any of those lights I passed green, and how did I even get here?"

— mariana Z (@mariana057) September 29, 2025

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life

— pris (@pwiscila) September 30, 2025

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

— Jannese 💕 (@Jameca2011) September 30, 2025

Buying 10 bags of candy*

Cashier: Getting ready for Halloween?

Me: No

— Kristen (@Kica333) September 30, 2025

“could possibly be” is killing me when the only other explanation is that he contributed from the other side https://t.co/I1OMf8JBMH

— zoë rose bryant (@zoerosebryant) September 30, 2025

In case you were wondering how many red Starbursts in your pocket it takes to fuck up an entire load of laundry, the answer is one

— Nayele18 (@nayele18maybe) September 28, 2025

HR: Is there anything you’re currently struggling with at work?

Me: Well for starters, this meeting is pretty brutal.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 1, 2025

i don’t have a five year plan because every two years i realize i need a different life

— ໊ (@meishato) September 29, 2025

Okay this made me chuckle IRL pic.twitter.com/C7OmUJHumU

— Emily Nesbitt (@emilynesbitt96) September 30, 2025

"I've been pushed around my whole life, and i will not stand for it anymore" - woman who wanted me to take $2 off her lasagna

— post-modern cellarwoman 🍻 (@perse_on_phone) September 29, 2025

...is the bare-faced, bare nails, low-maintenance girl next door in the room with us now, or is it just Laetitia Casta, legendary '90s supermodel? https://t.co/aQq92fgd84

— Adrienne (@AdrienneAK) October 1, 2025

"people are allowed to dislike things"

WRONG no one is allowed to dislike Julie Andrews

— mary (@elaine_stritch) October 1, 2025

babe are you ok? it’s already q4 and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap”

— alli (@sonofalli) October 1, 2025

My intern was born in 2007

I have unread emails older than that

— Ash Arora (@asharoraa) October 2, 2025

English is neither of my roommates' first language so they often think I'm saying weird shit recreationally and I don't have the heart to contradict them. The other day at the farmer's market we saw a hot farmer and I called him a silver fox. They laughed at me for 5 minutes

— alex turntine (@turntineforwhat) October 2, 2025

My sister set up her remote office in the living room and I didn't want her to look unprofessional with people walking through, so I crawled across the floor...

and...
everyone saw that.

— Yondaime (@iamjadebrieanne) October 1, 2025