This post feels a little bit risky, a little bit too revealing, a little like something I’d rather not think about but need to. So, here goes... Let the dart throwing NOT begin.
If that title disturbs you, it should. A bit like the fact that one day we may find the face of Donald Trump on a dollar bill, framed by the words "In God We Trust." Yikes... But maybe it will be a virtual bill by then, so we can pretend it's not real. Somehow, we are pretty adept at avoiding reality.
I find it ironic that we live in a so-called "Christian" country, only to idolize the very opposite ideals that define the life of Jesus. Our definition of success is wrapped in notions of what Richard Rohr calls the three P’s: power, prestige and possessions, or what could also be called control, competition and consumerism. Just look in Fortune magazine to see how our culture defines “success:” powerful white men wearing Armani suits who have just climbed the ladder to CEO.
But wait...
Didn't Jesus both embrace his powerlessness and resist the temptation to seize control? He refused to align himself with the legalistic, divisive and marginalizing values of the leaders of his day, and he refused the enticing lure of those (including the devil masked in scripture) who offered such things to him. Instead he hung out with those whose palpable reality was that of having no control and knowing nothing about power. A power that too often turns dictatorial and abusive. Sound familiar?
Didn't Jesus refuse to occupy any title of status? He wore no crown except one of thorns, and he claimed no name except the one pinned on the cross: "King of the Jews." He knew himself only through association: Son of God AND of Man. Furthermore, he referred to all people as brothers and sisters reflecting their shared human and divine descent, and he made no reference to nuclear family lineage. You mean that cheat across the Mexican border who pays no taxes is my sibling? Yep.
Didn't Jesus live the most minimal life we can imagine? No mention is made of him wearing fine clothes. In fact, we read only of his mere garments being divided and cast for lots as a sort of mockery. We are not told of any luggage taken along on his travels. He seemed to gather only what he needed for himself and others in the moment at hand, like the carefree birds of the air. Similarly, he spoke against storing "surplus grain" in ever increasing size barns. What does that imply about my 401k?
It is challenging to read these words as I sit here in the comfort of my air conditioned apartment wearing the "privilege" of my white skin and the luxury of my Garnet Hill pajamas; as I cling to the prominence of an Ivy League degree; and as I find myself ever vigilant of the balance of a bank account that probably puts me in the top 5% of the planet. I both critique and partake in the defining characteristics of a society spiraling further and further into meaningful meaninglessness.
At the same time, my life has given me a tiny taste of what it means to be powerless, lacking in status, and seeing the dissolution of what I "possess." I have become keenly aware that I have no control through an emergency hospital admission and a violation of my boundaries. I have known what it's like to be repeatedly labeled and minimized by job interviewers as "unprofessional" because I have been a stay-at-home mom. And I have had to think twice about purchases before checking my bank account and questioning myself as to whether I really need them. That iPhone 7 - it can wait.
It's telling that I regret none of these changes and only feel thankful for the underlying awareness, and even freedom, that has come with them. The three P's/three C’s have a way of owning us instead of the other way around.
All the same, I continue to find my little ego wounded and my desire for "more" never satisfied. I cling to my possessions for a sense of control that ends up imprisoning me. I try to convince people of right and wrong and "fix" situations that aren't mine to fix. I long for the letters of an advanced degree after my name that suggest that I am smarter and more capable. I am enticed by the new features on the latest Garmin that can track everything from my from my V02 max to my "Suffer Score." (?)
There is no escape from this scenario, but there can only be putting intention around taking baby steps in the other direction. After all, at the heart of things, internals matter more than externals. We can accomplish amazing feats for the wrong reasons, and we can make profound mistakes for the right ones. Wouldn't it be great if we could categorize everything and everyone so neatly around our notions of right and wrong? I have met people whose inward beauty is reflected by their outward: those whose bank accounts are shared with those in need or towards a worthy cause, and big wigs who volunteer at soup shelters.
These realities call me back to what seems the most essential of "Christian" values that seems to undergird all religious traditions: to refrain from judgment, to stop pointing the finger. You know – that thing our politicians do so well. Damn – I wish it were that easy to blame it on our leadership, but let us not forget that we feed and buy in to the very dualistic system we criticize.
I find myself looking for some upbeat answer for this conundrum, some cheery way to end this piece of writing. Yet I cannot find one. The only hope seems to reside in only one unexpected place: me, you – the unique contributions we make to create and model something different.
What illusions do we need to give up in order to access true power – the kind that liberates and unifies rather than confines and divides? What titles or labels can we give up and replace with generous lives that render far greater influence than any status? What things (or even people) can we think twice before possessing, fixing, or buying, freeing us to find and model that true wealth comes more from what is in our hearts than our hands. Aspirations of power and control, prestige and competition, and possesstions and consumerism have a hard time gaining ground in such a climate.