GRAY IN L.A. Do Old Feminists Win?

There it was again, one of those earth-shaking not exactly new or surprising articles online. The AgeLab informed and promised older women like myself that the future will be female. Just like that. No kidding! I'm listening. I'm waiting! Joseph F. Coughlin, director of the AgeLab at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology even wrote a new book, “The Longevity Economy: Unlocking the World’s Fastest-Growing, Most Misunderstood Market.”

He claims that older women are changing the workplace, therefore the world, mostly because they don't want to retire (sure, they've been taking care of everything for so long that it would feel "unnatural" to lazily lean back). They also live longer, are very experienced and finally more self-assured and ready for another round of real life. Oh, and they get a lot of divorces after 50, so no one is bothering them with "menwhining" (my knew word). So it's us 60s and 70s gals all over again?

I'm not Debbie Downer, for sure, but I'm not totally buying it. Looking back, I have heard all that before, starting in the late sixties. Back then it was all about the dynamic, fresh and fearless, newly emancipated females who would take over the world for sure because they wore mini-skirts, had jobs and did a lot of shopping. Of course, men stayed in power - like they always have - and wondered what had gotten into the former cuties who acted up. But they weren't truly worried, men never are (UNTIL NOW), they'll get over it, these crazy girls aren't a real threat they thought.

But more women than ever got a fabulous education and increasingly better jobs - yet somehow remained modest, flexible and grateful and stayed in the back-row, like they always do. Another group, the "Women's Liberation" gang had bigger and more daring ideas and acted on them. They weren't only fierce self-defenders; they were true activists who re-introduced themselves as intelligent, sassy, self-aware, confident women who basically wanted to blow-up the "planet man" with all the pompous pashas, misogynists and chauvinists, aggressors and egomaniacs on it. The enemy was exposed. Round one of rage followed. Let it bleed.

Cut to the eighties: All of a sudden there were women with pussy-bow-blouses and layered hair, with shoulder pads and pantsuits marching into all offices, ready to really leave their mark in a men's world. They did, and left a trail of fear because the women were extremely successful with all their talents and efficiency. The men resorted to the tried-and-true usual bullshit of attacking and demeaning women. Sexual harassment reared its old and ugly head and was publicly and privately targeted for the first time. There was some suing by women going, a lot of hush-money was doled out, some won in court, most lost - and silence followed. Money can muffle outrage.

Accusing them of having lost their "natural femininity" had its effect, too. Always vulnerable and deeply insecure, the women had doubts about their own accomplishments, and stepped back a bit. Why not starting a family, they thought, instead of howling with the big corporate wolves in the boardroom without being heard? And so they did. A lot of them. But some also re-assessed the whole idea of accepting being a powerless woman in this world and opted for childlessness and a career matching those of men's. Punishment followed with a big backlash in the 90s, where feminism was blamed for the ills of the world (including men's discomfort with strong women); sexual harassment hadn't quit, women still made 20% less than men.

So many women asked: Aren't we maybe too bold? What would happen to us if we would lose our traditional ways? The media had the answers. Accusations and gleeful predictions were thrown at the sinners like in a witches' tribunal: Loneliness and bitterness will always be the price, as always. Slowly, feminism and rebellion as a tool or just an idea was as dead as Birkenstock sandals and seen as outmoded nonsense that was in stark contrast to the world of shopping, disco, drugs and hedonism. But underneath, women became increasingly angry and frustrated; they were still raising the kids, cooked and cleaned house, on top of holding underpaid exhausting jobs. Maybe out of exhaustion, maybe just being disillusioned - something killed the desire to rebel.

New generations of women came, kind of clueless and without much bite, who had never really heard of the original feminist struggle or women's uprising in general. That's when the older women of 50 plus finally spoke up and told their stories of early fights, and wondered what had happened to their naive daughters and granddaughters. It looked as if they truly believed that they had everything, they'd won all the battles, there was no need to fight and push and provoke; men had changed, too, was their silly (and incorrect) impression. They'd got it all wrong, of course. WE knew that. And still do.

And here we are now - old or as they say, "older", getting upgraded to being the real winners. Is this a late true victory? A medal that's being pinned on us for bravery and survival in a basically still sexist, hostile environment run by frightened, often shoddy perpetrators and patriarchs?

I don't need an "upgrade", I'm more amused than flattered. I could say, "I told you so!" I knew we would be the ones having the last laugh - or at least a chuckle, even scream "victory at last”. But I won't, because the battle is still raging. And what I truly also know is one thing. What we need for the future is one creature we either have to dug up in us - if she ever existed - or invent and fabricate out of sheer conviction: The Disobedient Woman! She'll take care of almost everything.