How Reading 'The Secret' Changed my Life

Bucket list: #2 Read "The Secret," get enlightened, become super rich

I decided to start my bucket off with this one, seeing as it's a book that is supposed to teach you how to do and receive everything you've ever wanted. Instead, it showed me just how desperate people are to get things the easy way and need something to believe in to get through each day.

So, "The Secret." I know I'm a little behind on the book's popularity. However, I've heard people say that this book changed their life -- 184 pages and it changed their life. Seemed worth the read to me.

I was wrong.

Let me save you some time. Basically, the book says that if I die tomorrow in a terrible, horrific accident, it's because I brought it on myself. And not in a whole bad karma thing, because even that I would be like... all right, I get that... but in a "I basically wished it upon myself" kind of way.

At some points in the book I actually thought I was being pranked. "This can't be real," I thought. Someone from The Onion released a book and is pulling one over on the world.

Take for example the point at which the author says, "Food only makes you fat if you believe it makes you fat." So you're telling me that if I believe hard enough that pizza has about as many calories as a carrot stick, I'll never gain a pound? I think I may have found a new religion.

Now believe me, I think the concept in the abstract is wonderful. Think good thoughts. That's sweet. I like to think of myself as a pretty positive person, but I complain about dumb, petty things just as much as the next person. I could probably be better off doing less of that. But does that mean I deserve to fall in a manhole on the way home today? Probably not.

So basically what I learned is if you want to make money writing a book with little effort or credibility in a subject, choose the following:

How to get rich by just thinking really hard
How to get rich by doing nothing at all
How to live forever
How to look young forever

Unfortunately, there are people who are still hoping for an easy way out of everything they do. Success without work. Power without knowledge. Strength without exertion.

I think the only point I truly agree with in this book is to stop blaming others for your misfortunes and look to yourself. Instead of complaining, change it.

However, all this book did was scare me, because like most people, the time of day that I feel the most anxious is as I lay down to go to sleep. Which is, to say the least, inconvenient and annoying. I worry about all the things that I most likely was supposed to do that day and completely forgot. It's like my bed is a memory machine full of forgotten tasks to taunt me. So as I stressed I thought, "Oh crap, I'm thinking bad thoughts. I'm wishing harm upon myself." Then my ceiling fan made a strange noise and I was convinced it was going to break off the ceiling and fall on me. All because I forgot to get dish soap.

So basically now I am terrified of my own thoughts. And my ceiling fan.

This book basically ruined me.

24 more things to go.