It's difficult to know whether his latest column is a part of his ongoing attempt to prove himself more ironically humorous than Stephen Colbert or if it's just another entry in the "Most Out Of Touch Columnist in America" contest, but this morning's effort from Richard Cohen truly defies description. The thesaurus simply does not list enough variations on "inane" to do the trick.
Cohen has apparently drunk deeply of the anger-arousing Kool-Aid that the McCain camp has been pimping, and is full of outrage at Senator Barack Obama for choosing to operate within a system of public financing that benefits his own campaign, as opposed to a system of public financing that benefits McCain's campaign. Cohen says that Obama has thus "moved his bottom line." There's also some straight up balderdash about "socialist realism language" that won't make any sense at all, even if you opt to have a bag of ball peen hammers dropped on your head.
And if you are wondering if Cohen is aware of McCain's long history of flipping and flopping, you'd be surprised to learn that he is, going so far as to document a partial litany of offenses:
In some recent magazine articles, I and certain of my colleagues have been accused of being soft on McCain, forgiving him his flips, his flops and his mostly conservative ideology. I do not plead guilty to this charge, because, over the years, the man's imperfections have not escaped my keen eye. But, for the record, let's recapitulate: McCain has either reversed himself or significantly amended his positions on immigration, tax cuts for the wealthy, campaign spending (as it applies to use of his wife's corporate airplane) and, most recently, offshore drilling. In the more distant past, he has denounced then embraced certain ministers of medieval views and changed his mind about the Confederate flag, which flies by state sanction in South Carolina only, I suspect, to provide Republican candidates with a chance to choose tradition over common decency. There, I've said it all.
Actually, Richard, you've missed a few items. If you really want to collect them all, you should include his reversal on Roe v. Wade, his reversal on embracing Sam and Charles Wyly, his reversal on his stance on Grover Norquist, his reversal on torture, his reversal on ethanol, his reversal on Bob Jones University, his reversal on "100 Years in Iraq," and his reversal on gay marriage. Additionally, Richard, you should clarify: when you cite his flip-flop on offshore drilling, do you mean the first one? Or do you mean today's admission that offshore drilling would only yield "psychological benefits?" Connect that keen eye of yours with the fingers that type your columns, why don't you?
Oh, and there's also that whole matter of McCain strenuously opposing the decent and honorable G.I. Bill for months, only to swoop in and attempt to take credit for it when its passage became inevitable. And why not include the little matter of McCain attempting to rip off the public through the very public finance vehicle that's currently got you at sixes and sevens?
Yes, why not? Well, the reason why not, dear readers, is because Cohen thinks McCain deserves credit in spite of all of these detriments because years ago, he was a prisoner of war.
But here is the difference between McCain and Obama -- and Obama had better pay attention. McCain is a known commodity. It's not just that he's been around a long time and staked out positions antithetical to those of his Republican base. It's also -- and more important -- that we know his bottom line. As his North Vietnamese captors found out, there is only so far he will go, and then his pride or his sense of honor takes over. This -- not just his candor and nonstop verbosity on the Straight Talk Express -- is what commends him to so many journalists.
Naturally, I have no need, want, or desire to suggest that McCain was anything less than laudably valorous in Vietnam, but I have to nevertheless point out that I've known plenty of people in this world in whom my trust has been well invested despite the fact that none of them (to my knowledge) were ever held captive in a Vietnamese POW camp. McCain will run for President in 2008 as a candidate that's completely unrecognizable from the McCain who ran in 2000. Given the numerous instances of McCain following the path of least resistance on the way to pure political expedience, I'm afraid that the only way his time as a POW relates to how "far he will go," is that it's reasonably certain that his attempts to win the White House will stop short of treason.
Having familiarized myself with Barack Obama's platform, I can report that the candidate has a very strong and overt "anti-treason" message. But Obama should definitely allow himself to be caged and tortured to satisfy Richard Cohen.