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New HuffPo Citizen Journalism Award

Subjects might include: George Bush is a pathological liar; George Bush is a narcissistic tyrannical liar; George Bush is a stupid uncaring liar.
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Announcing the 2006 Gather Citizen Journalism Scholarship Contest Judged by Arianna Huffington

Wednesday, March 1, 2006
Two talented journalism students - one graduate student and one undergraduate student - will each win a $1000 scholarship. The scholarships will be awarded on Monday, May 15, 2006 to the two students who best represent the new age of citizen journalism. The contest will be judged by Arianna Huffington of The Huffington Post©.
The Top 10 contest finalists will be offered the honor of interning at The Huffington Post, either in New York or Los Angeles.

Contest Dates: Wednesday, March 1, 2006 - Monday, May 15, 2006
Details: Submissions should portray a real life, eyewitness account or personally researched story about a current event.

Subjects might include:
-George Bush is a pathological liar
-George Bush is a narcissistic tyrannical liar
-George Bush is a stupid uncaring liar

THE CONTEST IS OPEN TO ALL STUDENTS. HOWEVER, THERE ARE REQUIREMENTS:

Student must believe that ROTC stands for "ROTten to the Core."
Student must have begun at least one Political Action Committee, for example, "WindPowerPac" or "LentilsPac." Student need not, however, actually have convened any meetings of this PAC, nor produced any correspondence or attempted to influence any legislation with it. Student need only produce a resume on which this PAC is prominently highlighted.

Student must have written at least one experimental "play" in which the word "Enough" was spelled, "Enuf."

UNDERGRADUATE PROFILE CHECKLIST
-you refer to capitalism as "crapitalism" and point it out if no one picks up on it
- you boycott brands, (notably toothpaste)
-you answer every question with "yeah, right," followed by a snort of derision
-you have one friend named Imran and you tell everyone about him. He hates you.
-you would abandon your grandparents in a forest
-your ipod contains reggae

GRADUATE PROFILE:
Does your singlebeaded dreadlock represent your rejection of Bush, but also mainly
your parents?

Are you on first name terms with the staff at Urban Outfitters?

Do you have an illegible gothic-script foreign language tattoo on your arm that you think means "peace and love to all," but actually means "smells like a shed"?

MORE FINE PRINT:
Student must get an obligatory lump-in-throat whenever Walter Cronkite steps to a lectern; consider Michael Moore and Oliver Stone films "documentaries"; believe Howard Zinn to be the greatest living historian; demonstrate the ability to use the following locutions on a regular basis: "The American dream became... an American nightmare" and, "It seems that in that war, we weren't fighting the Viet Cong... we were fighting ourselves"; but must most of all feel that there is no Islamic terrorist threat anywhere to anyone, and that any effort to combat it constitutes genocide.

* Multiple entries are permitted. Especially if they're about Arriana's latest book, Fanatics & Fools:
The Game Plan for Winning Back America Published 2004. Or Pigs at the Trough:
How Corporate Greed and Political Corruption are Undermining America.

Note: attacks on executive private jets will be considered irrational raving by the uninformed, and will not be tolerated. Some people simply have greater needs than others, and Ms. David needs her damn Jetstream, so can it!

*Academic good standing does not refer to grades, but to the absence of outstanding campus hate speech violations. Extra points if you are involved with speech code enforcement. Fascists never rest, so neither should you.

* Photos are encouraged. Ethnic diversity is welcome. Funny names are a plus.

* The judge, Arianna Huffington, will choose two scholarship recipients, one undergraduate student and one graduate student, from the 20 finalists. The top 10 journalists - 5 undergraduate and 5 graduate students, including the scholarship winners - will be offered full-time, unpaid internships at The Huffington Post for the 2006 fall semester (September - December) in the New York or Los Angeles office. Meaning you will work for nothing. But it's okay: to win this award, you must be no ordinary citizen, comrade, but the kind of citizen who who hates being a citizen. If you see what we mean.