I just knew I could become pregnant by kissing because of a book I stumbled upon in the library in the 8th grade in the early 70s. After the kiss, the author said to take either a cold bath/cold shower or a stork would deliver an already diapered baby to your front door.
Even some of the older women in the neighborhood would scare you by telling you that boys will give you “cooties” and that “fast” or “fresh” girls can become pregnant by kissing. So, who knew kissing was such a big responsibility?
I used to jump-rope to that fun and silly American k-i-s-s-i-n-g rhyme. As a child, I never paid any attention to the meaning behind the words…
(Girl’s name) and (boy’s name) sitting in the tree
K-i-s-s-i-n-g! (spell it out)
First, comes love.
Then comes marriage.
Then comes baby in the baby carriage
I was a small town girl, aged 14, and he was a city boy, aged 16. We met when he was visiting his aunt and we talked a few times at sporting events and over the phone. Frankly, I was over the moon because up until that time, I had never been told I was cute–by a boy. No matter what your friends and family may have told you; as a teenager, it does not count until a boy tells you that you are a cutie patootie!
My father made it very clear that I could not date or have company until I was 18–UGH! So, I knew I was breaking an “I Shall Not Kiss” Commandment 4 years early when I heard a familiar voice say…
I said, “Okay, we can kiss just as long as I don’t get pregnant” ― and he gave me the strangest look… My school let out at 3:00, and I had until 3:15 to walk home in time to answer a ringing phone from my mom.
So, I puckered up respectfully for my first kiss. I closed my eyes and I was waiting for the closed-mouth, pressed-lip, and mutual-button tap-tap kiss. But, I didn’t feel his lips. I opened my eyes. He was laughing, and what this city boy told me next I had never heard before.
He said that I had been watching too much TV.
“That’s not how you kiss in real life.”
Well, I said, I have seen my mom and dad, husband and wife, Lucy McGillicuddy and Ricky Ricardo, and even Hollywood movie stars kiss this way.
With a fake French accent, he said, “It is called the French Kiss.”
I was a naïve impressionable teen. I was smitten. I thought all city boys were a little groovier and hip than the boys in my small town of Havre de Grace.
So, I followed his instructions, ran home, and answered the phone on the third or sixth ring. Then I called my best friend Ingrid to tell her there was a new kiss all the way from France and that I liked it–that I would give her all the details on the way to school the next day.
Well, apparently, she had come across the same book in the library and yelled into the phone, “Don’t forget to take a cold bath!” I told her that I had the water running.
I did something highly suspicious that night that should have raised eyebrows ― I buried myself in homework just in case my parents could tell I had been kissed.
So, for the next few days, I had looked up at the sky so much that I had a crick in my neck from seeing if an oversized bird with a long, long yellow beak was lurking around in my neighborhood to make a baby drop!
Then I knew it was not true after my parents signed the permission slip for the science teacher to show our class the infamous 8th-grade film on the reproductive system (the Birds and the Bees). Most of us giggled and blushed throughout the whole film. I realized then that k-i-s-s-i-n-g was and is quite pleasurable and pregnancy-free.
So, merci beaucoup to France!
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.