My recent Huffington Post article, "5 Signs You Might Be Dating A Man-Child," received a number of very angry comments by men. The article was intended to be helpful to those women who find themselves in a lopsided romantic relationship where they become the only responsible party. Women caught in these relationships usually have their own issues that need to be addressed, which I bring to light in the article. However, some men read this as an attack on their gender and turned it into fodder to attack women. Here is a bit of a sample of the comments received:
'Another man-hating article written by a woman with a PHd. Great job Huff-Po.'
'I hope my son NEVER gets married. It's simply not worth it. I'd rather see him work at a job he enjoys, travel, date many, many women, ride jet-skis, play video games, have friends, and generally enjoy his life waking up every morning comfortable in the thought that everything he's ever worked for is still his own.'
'Any male would be an absolute idiot to get married now. You don't marry the woman, you marry the state, and the state is designed to transfer money from men to women. It's just the way it works.''I'll stop being a 'man-child' when you get back into the kitchen. We each have our respective roles, right? "'
'Yupp. Damn it feels good to be a mgtow.'
'I don't have this problem, spotting feminists is really easy.'
'Thanks to personal robots, Roma, Mint, & John Deer, men have very little need of a anyone to keep up their home.'
'MGTOW men. MGTOW. That is all.'
The group Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) was espoused in a number of the comments. This group supports men who, according to their website refuse "to bow, serve and kneel for the opportunity to be treated like a disposable utility."
These comments are a reminder of a group of men who perceive women as deeply manipulative with a mission to ruin men. Just as women who engage in "man-child" relationship dynamics have wounds to heal, these men need help understanding their misdirected rage.
The forces that drive some women toward compulsively loving men who are unloving and the forces that line up to put some men in unfulfilling relationships are similar.
In fact, women and men are far more alike than they are different. And of course both are deserving of respectful partnership. It is important to keep in mind that there are many long-term, successful romantic relationships.
My book, Having Sex, Wanting Intimacy Why Some Women Settle for One-Sided Relationships, is written for women. But, it can be read by men as a guide to how they too may avoid romantic relationships that are likely to end unhappily.