As we become adults (especially us women), we tend to form a nasty habit of having to be self-sufficient. Maybe we just want to prove that we can take care of ourselves, or maybe it's that we don't want to be seen as weak or helpless.
Either way, it's prideful and it doesn't serve anyone. Especially not you.
Knowing how to take care of yourself, learn new things and gain life skills is essential to living an awesome life, but once you cross that line into being prideful for the sake of proving something to the world, you start to do yourself a great disservice.
For starters, you begin down a path towards total overwhelm in your life. Think about it, if you never let anyone do anything for you, that's a lot of stuff you're responsible for! Second, you never allow anyone the joy of giving you a gift. Whether it's that they simply want to make your life easier or love and adore you so much that they're more than happy to help... you squash their ability to express this to you and leave both parties feeling crummy. Last, but not least, you never give yourself the opportunity to excel in one area or experience the time and freedom we all deeply desire.
Three ways to start living an awesome life:
As the title says, get over yourself!
You do not have to know everything. Knowing everything does not make you any more worthy of love, acceptance or joy. Knowing how to fix your brakes, cook a five-course meal and discuss the stock market like you know what you're talking about doesn't make you a better person. It just makes you more knowledgeable.
If it's knowledge you need or desire to know, awesome. If it's not, ask yourself why you're so hell bent on knowing it. Is it to prove something to the world, or maybe feel like you measure up to someone else? Is it some kind of over-zealous feminist statement to the men in your life? Why does it matter? Does it bring you joy? If it's not a need or desire, I'd venture to guess the answer is a big no.
So knock it off! Who you are, what you know and the things that you're drawn to are enough. You are perfect. You are unique and you are amazing whether you know these things or not.
Hire it out!
Once you get comfortable with the idea of not needing to know everything, take a look at what you're doing that's not within your realm of expertise, passion or skill set. That's right, I included passion. Do you hate, with a capital H, anything tech-related? Does talk about engine coolant and wiper blade sizes make you want to jump off a cliff? Is cleaning your home the bane of your existence? Hire it out!
I used to change my oil... something that was not my area of expertise, passion or within my skill set. Part of me did it to save money and another to prove that I was a car girl (a title I'd outgrown fairly soon after gaining it). Then one day I realized that I really didn't enjoy working on cars. Like, at all. So now? I hire it out and spend my time doing the things I do enjoy.
Sure, you could learn the skills necessary or do the research, but why bother? It's just going to make you miserable and be a huge waste of your time. Imagine what you could do with that time instead? I promise that once you start hiring more things out, you'll become more productive and feel loads happier! If money's an issue, start small, but start with the thing that is the worst use of your time and energy.
Ask for help when you need it.
Stop being prideful. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Sometimes you just don't know how to do something and sometimes you just don't care to. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Whether it's asking for financial help from your parents, having a friend help you move or even asking for emotional support during a tough time... release your pride and just ask.
Needing help doesn't make you weak, in fact, quote the opposite. It makes you strong, smart, resourceful and realistic. Being prideful is a weakness, asking for help when you know you're in over your head is a strength. Don't ever forget that.
Take Action Now!
Get honest with me (and yourself!) in the comments below. Where are you being prideful? Where do you push yourself to be something you're not? How are you wasting your precious time in order to prove something to someone else? Based on the action items above, tell me at least one thing you intend to do differently going forward.
Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com;, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, "The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question."
For more by Stephenie Zamora, click here.