Stephen Colbert Insults A Billy Goat, Scaring Cubs Fans Everywhere

"There is no possible way this decision can come back to haunt me."

Chicago Cubs fan Stephen Colbert addressed the team's supposed postseason hex head on during Thursday night's "Late Show," declaring the Curse of the Billy Goat officially broken and the Cubs’ playoff success imminent.

Celebrating the Cubs’ first postseason win in a dozen years, Colbert relayed the curse’s origins -- a tavern owner and his goat get kicked out of a Chicago World Series game, said tavern owner curses the ball club forever -- before throwing another goat out of the episode's taping, thereby ironically spawning the hex once more. Cue Cubs fans’ horror.

“Now, it looks like the days of the curse are behind my Cubs,” Colbert said. “Sure, technically they need to win 11 more games … but I think I can safely say, without any fear of jinxing it, they’re going all the way.” 

The ever-superstitious Chicago fans have lived in a perennial fear of such brash statements for decades -- but especially since a fan by the name of Steve Bartman famously interfered with a foul ball, plaguing his Cubbies to another dozen years of playoff distress. 

Poor Chicago fans -- they've waited 107 years and counting. Let's hope for their sake that they win another Fall Classic before the Times Square New Year's Eve ball drops in 2122.


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