4 Reasons Marshmallows Need To Get The F*** Away From Our Sweet Potatoes

Why this annual abomination has to go.

Thanksgiving is a day for celebrating traditions -- that's why we eat turkey, gravy and a pie made out of a pumpkin of all things every year, whether we want to or not. With that in mind, we always try to take a staunchly "to each their own" approach to the Thanksgiving meal. You want to stuff your turkey with two other birds? Fine, go nuts. You want to make a Jell-O mold out of Coca-Cola and call it salad? More power to you.

There is, however, one department in which our diplomacy for individual Thanksgiving preferences goes straight out the window: sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top. Guys, this is not a good idea. Marshmallows and sweet potatoes have no business near each other on a dinner plate. This Thanksgiving, we want to make sure marshmallows know that we'd like them to get the f**k away from our sweet potatoes. Here are some reasons why:

Sweet potatoes are already sweet.
Tom Grill via Getty Images
I'm not sure if you were able to tell from the name, but they're already really sweet. They are literally called sweet potatoes. They have almost six times more sugar in them than regular potatoes. Please someone tell me who the brainiac was that decided we should add some more sugar onto them.
Sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top is a dessert, not a side dish.
Look at the ratio of marshmallow to sweet potato in this dish and sincerely try to tell me with a straight face that this is meant to be eaten with dinner. You know why sweet potatoes make such great pie? Because they are crazy sweet. Dude, put some marshmallows on sweet potato pie and I will give you a hug, but let's not bring s'mores into an already calorically bountiful Thanksgiving dinner.
It just leads to other bad ideas.
Oh great. Look what you did now! Pineapple thinks it was invited to Thanksgiving dinner. Pineapple. GTFO out of here, pineapple! No one invited you! Go back to the Jell-O mold where you belong!
Marshmallows + Gravy = X_X
GOD, can you imagine a more disgusting food combination than TURKEY GRAVY AND MARSHMALLOWS? What are we going to do about this? Keep the sweet potato casserole on a separate, gravy-less segment of our Thanksgiving plate? I'd like to quote a very wise woman in saying, "Ain't nobody got time for that."

However you choose to celebrate Thanksgiving, even if it's with a disgusting, gloppy abomination of sugar smothering (no doubt) ashamed tubers, we hope you have a really happy one. See you on the fatter side!

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