The Twelve Days Of Christmas As Sung By A Climate Change Denier

Polar bear has had enough
Polar bear has had enough

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a natural rising level of sea.

On the second day of Christmas, there’s water to my knees, the blame on CFCs and a natural rising level of sea.

On the third day of Christmas, what happened to the bees?, three satellite errors, the blame on CFCs and a natural rising level of sea.

On the fourth day of Christmas, deforesting the trees, renewable energy’s too pricey, three satellite errors, the blame on CFCs and a natural rising level of sea.

On the fifth day of Christmas, I have smog based allergies, OVERESTIMATED ICE SHEET LOSSES!, renewable energy’s too pricey, three satellite errors, the blame on CFCs and a natural rising level of sea.

On the sixth day of Christmas, there's plastic in the sea, six cold days in December, OVERESTIMATED ICE SHEET LOSSES!, renewable energy’s too pricey, three satellite errors, the blame on CFCs and a natural rising level of sea.

On the seventh day of Christmas, ignoring Al Gore’s pleas, seven polar bears are swimming, six coldish days in December, I HATE AL GORE!, renewable energy’s too pricey, three satellite errors, the blame on CFCs and a natural rising level of sea.

Albert Gore, Jr. 45th Vice President of the United States. Image adapted from Creative Commons image in the Flickr photostrea
Albert Gore, Jr. 45th Vice President of the United States. Image adapted from Creative Commons image in the Flickr photostream of the World Economic Forum

On the eighth day of Christmas, polar ice caps melt with ease, Jupiter’s a-warming, seven polar bears are swimming, six cold days in December, BIGLY LIES ABOUT ICE SHEET LOSSES!, renewable energy’s a snore, three satellite errors, the blame on the FCC and a natural rising level of sea.

On the ninth day of Christmas, more plastic baggies please, nine cows are farting, Jupiter’s a-warming, seven polar bears are swimming, six cold days in December, OVERESTIMATED ICE SHEET LOSSES!, renewable energy’s too pricey, thirty satellite errors, the blame on CFCs and a natural rising level of sea.

<a rel="nofollow" href="https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ACow-fart.png" target="_blank">Cow Farting</a>
Cow Farting

On the tenth day of Christmas, Scott Pruitt’s legal fees, 10 hoaxes made by China, nine cows are farting, Jupiter’s a-warming, seven polar bears are swimming, six cold days in December, $$$GLOBAL WARMING HOAXSTERS!$$$, renewable energy’s too pricey, thirty nine satellite errors, the blame on CFCs and a natural rising level of sea.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Flint’s water is dirty, 11 million in fossil fuel funding, 10 hoaxes made by China, nine cows are farting, Jupiter’s a-warming, seven polar bears are swimming, six cold days in December, SCOTT PRUITT SHOULD SUE THE ENVIRONMENT!, renewable energy’s too pricey, three hundred satellite errors, the blame on MSNBC and a natural rising level of sea.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 12 cosmic rays that are shining from outer space which perfectly explains why the ocean’s now clam chowder, 11 million in fossil fuel funding but don’t tax me if I’m wealthy, 10 elaborate hoaxes made by ‘Gina, nine billion cows are farting, Jupiter’s a-warming us just ask science wizard Myron Ebell, the seven polar bears left are swimming happily, six whole coldish days in December prove global warming is definitively bullhonky, AL GORE CAN EAT MY CARBON EMISSIONS!, renewable energy will put everyone out of work, all the satellites were hacked, the blame’s definitely on Barack and a VERY WARMING ECONOMY!

This polar bear has also had enough
This polar bear has also had enough
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