What Really Matters

Last night Adele visited me in a dream. I wouldn't necessarily consider it a vision but rather a nightmare.

"Hello, it's me. I was wondering when you were due to have your baby."

I told her I wasn't pregnant.

Immediately after waking this morning I promptly renewed my gym membership.

I would like to send her the bill.

I pulled on my yoga pants, this time with the intention of actually doing yoga and I sweated out a variety of long forgotten poses. I made it however and I promptly celebrated with a full fat mocha.

I'm sad to say it took a pregnant comment to a non-pregnant woman to propel me into action.

Since my hysterectomy almost 3 months ago I have put on some considerable weight. How could I not? Recovering on a couch with Netflix, pain medicine and ice cream is truly a recipe for disaster.

I always told myself that when it became difficult to pull my socks on I knew I needed to do something.

Well, last week it hurt to pull my socks on.

I'm the type of exerciser that will hit the gym hard for twp years, drop 60 pounds and then after changes in schedules and routines gain 40 of the pounds back. I'm a bit like a pendulum.

One truth I am slowly learning however is I'm not in a competition. There are ALWAYS going to be the svelte yoga moms. There are ALWAYS going to be women much stronger than myself. There are ALWAYS going to be the women that post daily gym selfies, documenting their caloric burn to all their friends.

While I know that my physical health needs attention, I also know our emotional health as women is equally vital. If exercise helps with that, great. If it doesn't, great. Do something for yourself that does. We need to look at our lives from a holistic approach because everything is connected into one amazing body.

If something doesn't feel right, change the narrative. Are you being kind to yourself? Let that be your gauge.

I need to remind myself about acceptance when I have to buy a bigger pair of jeans. That taking a walk around the block versus running 5 miles in the rain still counts. That smaller portions versus the Daniel Plan is OK. A few months down the line you may need that smaller pair of jeans. Cool. You might need to buy a bigger pair. Cool.

Do you feel strong? Do you feel healthy? Do you show compassion to yourself?

That's what matters.