What Stale Hill is This?

The Clinton campaign has been nothing if not defiantly hip, with a constant stream of cutting-edge, up-to-the-second pop culture references. Here's a sampling from the campaign trail:

"That's not change you can believe in, that's change you can Xerox."
-- Hillary Clinton referencing Barack Obama's alleged plagiarism at their Texas debate, February 21

"Anybody who thinks Hillary's gettin' out of this race before the votes are all cast and counted doesn't know Hillary. It's about as likely, to quote those great philosophers from Wayne's World, what'd they say, if monkeys fly out my butt."
-- Paul Begala on CNN, March 25

"When it comes to finishing a fight, Rocky and I have a lot in common. I never quit. I never get up [sic]."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Philadelphia, April 1

"[Obama's] health care plan is the worst idea I've heard since New Coke."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Pittsburgh, April 10

"The way some of you people talk about her, you'd think she was Nurse Ratched."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton complaining to reporters about coverage of his wife's campaign, April 10

"If I could throw the ball the way Obama throws the bull, I'd be Joe Namath."
-- James Carville to George Stephanopolous, April 13

"Somebody should tell John McCain that the Iraq War is about as popular as the Edsel."
-- Hillary Clinton to Tim Russert, April 13

"Who is John McCain going to appoint as his energy secretary? J. R. Ewing?"
-- Hillary Clinton to Tim Russert, April 13

"When I see Senator Obama posing with Reverend Wright I think my opponent's judgment about ministers is what Billie Joe McAllister threw off the Tallahatchie Bridge."
-- Hillary Clinton to Tim Russert, April 13

"He's gobbling up air time like Pac-Man ... Next thing you know he'll turn up in the middle of the Dancing Itos."
-- Clinton pollster Mark Penn complaining to Chris Wallace about Barack Obama's ubiquitousness on TV and the Web, April 13

"He's such a comedian, he should go on Laugh-In."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton discussing John McCain's notoriously vulgar ten-year-old joke about his then-eighteen-year-old daughter Chelsea, April 16

"Maureen Dowd is so out there today she reminds me of the Log Lady. Not that there's anything wrong with that."
-- Pennsylvania governor and Clinton supporter Ed Rendell reacting to a New York Times column hostile to his candidate, April 17

"[Obama's] positions are harder to figure out than Rubik's Cube."
-- Hillary Clinton to Larry King, April 21

"To anyone who wants her to get out I say, and I'm quoting the Fonz here, 'Sit on it.'"
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton pointing his finger at reporters, April 23

"Not everybody wants to go out after a hard day on the job and attend a caucus. Some folks would rather stay home and pop a tape in the Betamax."
-- Clinton campaign spokesman Howard Wolfson complaining about the caucus system, April 23

"Breaker breaker one nine, I'm not quitting."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Chapel Hill, April 23

"These days loyalty is about as hard to come by as a Cabbage Patch Doll at Christmas."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton campaigning in Harrisburg, still ranting about Bill Richardson, April 24

"Next time E.T. phones home, I hope he tells them this election is far from over."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Raleigh, April 24

"You know, a lot of people act like Hillary has no right to keep running. Well, excuuuuuse meee! I mean, her."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton campaigning in Terre Haute, April 26

"Like Mr. T says, I pity the fool who thinks I'm leaving this race, Tim, even if I lose."
-- Hillary Clinton to Tim Russert, April 27

"[Obama's] earned the nomination the way Pia Zadora earned a Golden Globe."
-- A red-faced Bill Clinton campaigning in Wheeling, April 28

"I've got some disappointing news for everyone who wants me to bow out before the convention. I am not about to twenty-three skidoo! Not even if I lose! Gag me with a spoon."
-- Hillary Clinton campaigning in Guam, April 29

Addendum: The comments thus far (3pm EDT) compel me to point out that the dates, except for the first three quotes, are in the future. That means they haven't been uttered yet, and therefore are not real.