Disclaimer: No consultant husband was hurt while writing this article. Jokes apart, I love my husband a lot and I am super proud of his achievements. And I know, he is doing it all, for both of us as a family. This post is just for laughs for people in similar situation and a reality check for people who don't know what goes behind the seemingly glamorous life. Read this disclaimer both before and after reading this post
1) Of Partners and Engagements
All your life, you think that you will marry this guy and be his partner for life. Bummer, you are NOT the only 'Partner' in your consultant husband's life. There are multiple 'partners' in his life. He will even be handling multiple engagements, for that matter. And most of the times, these 'other' partners and engagements will take priority over you.
2) Excels and Flow-charts are your new best-friends
Excel becomes the solution to every problem from grocery list to keeping track of minute travel expenses. There exists a flow chart for everything. You will learn to discuss the possible consequences of each alternative for every small or big issue in life.
3) Many messages from him in your inbox, Are you dreaming?
No, you aren't. Just that your inbox is filled with custom message like "In a meeting, I will call you back" or "Busy, talk to you later". Oh, did I forget to mention, there will be some momentous occasions when you will be shocked to actually hear his voice on the other side. And then you will be drifted back to normalcy, when he repeats the exact same words "I'm a bit busy, will call you back in sometime", albeit in his "meeting" aka "authoritative" voice.
4) Bipolar Living
You become a morning person on Monday and night one on Fridays. He will be leaving in the wee hours of the start of the week and returning back late Friday nights. Oh yes, if your husband is in town during the week, Fridays would mean partying with overworked-hence-deserving-a-party colleagues. So that's a more un-earthly hour, that you will see your husband returning to home.
5) Last Emails/PPT once he steps his foot home are always urgent
You can't underestimate the power of that last email or PPT which needs to be exchanged, for which God knows how many people are waiting for, who probably won't sleep before seeing that mail pop-up on their screen -- you get the idea 'We time' comes only after that last minute thingy.
6) Know-it-all and Geography Expert
You acquire a broad knowledge on various subjects based on free advices being pitched in every room of your house. And because he would be travelling a lot, you would ferret out surprising details about new locations, the various time-zones and the distance from your home.
That Girl's Life Stories
7) Consultant-like Conversations
You will hate the use of certain words during arguments and even casual conversations. Sample, you are in middle of an argument and you get consultant-like replies like 'It Depends','I suppose', 'I believe', 'Strategy is to', 'Roadmap' and 'Target Operating Model'. Just stop yourself before bursting out -- he is not doing it on purpose, it's just ingrained in him by now.
8) Husband's Guilty Conscience
He understands everything you are going through while he is not there. He will do anything to make it up to you. You will get anything easily, even when you don't ask for it. Be it going for family get-togethers, buying that oh-so-lovely but expensive dress -- but don't over-do it, save some for later
9) Travel more and see Exotic Places
You get to travel with him, explore new places. But be warned, you will be unpacking and doing the laundry post that exotic trip.
10) Fewer Fights
You will have fewer fights as there would be no time practically for such things as you will learn to value every moment spent together.
Are you also married to one from the Consultant clan? Does this sound familiar - Please share your experiences too!