Yoga 101 for Campaign 2016

If alpha male Vladimir Putin can deign to give yoga a try, then so can anybody, including some of our more bombastic presidential candidates.

"It (yoga) cannot fail to attract," Putin explained to Prime Minister Modi of India, when the two leaders met after Modi's hugely successful launch of International Yoga Day, when thousands rolled out their mats in front of the Eiffel Tower, in Times Square, and in Russia.

I recently finished a four-month yoga instructor course here in Washington where I learned Sanskrit, the eight-limbed yogic path, and explored esoteric things like chakras, points of energy that mysteriously float throughout the body.

Sure, yoga is a great way to a lithe figure and a Baryshnikov ass, but it has taught me so much more: how to balance stress, put things in perspective, and be kinder, precisely the things many of our public figures, especially politicians, need to learn.

I got to thinking: If I could be a guru to the leaders of the world, what would I try to impart?

Here's my take on a few poses they should start with.

And there's an extra incentive for Putin: You can go shirtless.

Humble Warrior: A perfect fit for our more self-assured leaders like Putin, Ted Cruz, and Donald Trump, although Mr. Trump will need to hold on to his hair, as this pose requires you to bow your head below your knees.

Goddess Pose: Carly Fiorina and Hillary Clinton can tap into their inner girl power with this pose. It wouldn't hurt the boys to discover their feminine sides either. Goddesses, after all, comprise more than half the electorate.

Wind Removing Pose: Probably a good idea for anyone running for office, or anyone with too much "hot air," as Chris Christie says. Could all of the bloviating surrogates also try this pose before they go on cable news, please?

Deaf Man's Pose: An ideal pose for anyone in Congress when they return from their August breaks. Just lie down, swing your legs over your head, close to your ears, and shut up. Listen to your breath, and not the sound of your own voice, for a change.

Child's Pose: The most basic resting posture. When you need to focus, this is the best way to go. Probably what Joe Biden needs to be doing while he makes up his mind about 2016.

Corpse Pose: Yoga's most powerful expression because it symbolizes the death of your practice and a new beginning. When campaign life gets to be too much, just "find your stillness," as we yogis like to say.