You are enough.
You don't need to have anything else, or to do anything else, or to lose any more weight, or to gain any more skills or accolades in order to be enough. You have everything you need right now, today. Enough to just be okay, or to begin, or to let go and take the leap. You. Right now. Enough.
It can be easy to get caught up in a cycle of delaying a state of being, or a step forward, or a release of something that you're ready to let go of until "X" happens.
You lose 10 pounds.
You get a Master's Degree.
Or a boyfriend.
You make a souffle without the top collapsing.
You pay off your credit card.
You learn to play the cello.
None of these things are bad to do, and you should certainly keep striving to be debt free, and to expand your mind, and to try new things. But your happiness, and your worthiness, are not contingent upon these achievements. You don't need anything in your life propping you up--like a partner you really know in your gut isn't right for you--until you cross another achievement off your list. You have what you need to apply for the job, or sign up for the half marathon, or move to California.
The longer you delay these things that are tugging at your soul, the more likely it is that the things you're merely tolerating in your life become your actual life. And the longer you are depriving all of us of what you're really capable of, when you're allowing yourself to live at your full magnitude.
Modeling has been my treadmill fantasy since middle school. It was the dream I kept locked in my heart, that I escaped to when doing really unpleasant things like monotonous cardio, since I can remember. For the longest time, I didn't pursue it, because I convinced myself I wasn't enough. I needed to be thinner, older (and then, younger), more exotic looking, independently wealthy, the list goes on. But finally, after making the choice to embrace my body as it is (hyperlink to "Confessions of Recovering Fat Kid"), I got out of my own way and got started on the life that I had been dreaming of.
I sometimes wish it had happened sooner, but then again, timing is everything. So instead, I direct that energy into sharing my story with other women in hopes that it will inspire and empower them to put it into action in their own life, before they lose any more valuable time themselves.
Life is so very brief, and you have so very much to offer. Just as you are, right now, today. You are enough. Now, go live like it!
Check out the #healthyatanysize community for more inspirational content like this and to connect with like-minded women.
Photos by Nikki Gomez.