Can “mind-healthy” become the “heart-healthy” of the new millennium?

The first time I remember tasting butter was when I was 7 years old, having breakfast at a friend’s house after a sleepover. I had been raised on margarine, the yellow stuff in a tub that we put on toast and melted to fry eggs. The English muffin my friend’s mother served me was familiar, but the wonderfully sweet off-white spread was all new. In 1970, butter was a no-no – at least for everyday use on toast and muffins. Wanting to instill heart-healthy habits in us from an early age, our mothers bought margarine, determined to imprint our taste buds with a substance that would keep us alive forever by preventing the heart attacks that had befallen their parents and grandparents.

Although neither my mother nor I knew it at the time, we suffered through the margarine years largely because of the famous Framingham heart study. This 40-year study followed over 5,000 men between the ages of 30 and 52 seeking preventive measures for heart disease. It found a smoking gun – cholesterol – and the results made the front page. In kitchens across the country, skim milk, margarine, and egg whites were in – and yolks and butter were out. Although the new millennium brought us evidence that margarine did not live up to its promise, we already knew that keeping our cholesterol down would help us to live longer, heart-attack free lives. We are now a generation of sushi-loving fish-oil worshippers who know our cholesterol levels and do plenty of “cardio” at the gym.

Despite the failure of the yellow hope called margarine, the impact of the Framingham study was tremendous. It ushered in the era of prevention. Prevention now goes beyond cardiovascular disease to other physical problems, like diabetes and osteoporosis. But what about emotional health? Does prevention have a role in maintaining healthy minds the way it does in maintaining healthy bodies?

Interestingly, at around the same time as the Framingham study, a Harvard professor named George Valliant began a longitudinal study of men aimed at discovering “protective factors” for emotional health (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/11/how-this-harvard-psycholo_n_3727229.html). Valliant, who followed many of these men for over 60 years, found that the ones who, from a fairly young age, had healthy relationships, coped well with stress, continued to learn, and remained reasonably physically active, had fewer psychological problems later in life. (No, he didn’t study women – but neither did Framingham and we girls still got the margarine.) So why didn’t our moms offer good coping mechanisms and discussions about relationships the way they served up margarine?

One of the reasons is that we don’t think about mental health the way we think about physical health. We talk about “heart-healthy” but we don’t talk about “mind-healthy.” Although things like yoga and healthy relationships may ease stress, as a culture we have yet to link them as closely to maintaining emotional health over the lifespan as we link low cholesterol to preventing heart attacks. How can we change that?

Today, I happily spread butter on muffins for my sons. But as I sit looking at them over the breakfast table – now two young men on the cusp of adulthood – I think about how Valliant’s study can help me to serve up emotional sustenance that will help them to live mind-healthy lives. Here are some things I’ve come up with:

1. Modeling mind-healthy living – as a mother, I know that my children watch me like hawks. They may hear what I say, but they really watch what I do. So I know that it’s important for them to see me making time to see friends, keeping relationships going over years, enjoying what I do, and using good coping mechanisms to deal with stress. I can’t always do this, but, when I fail, I can let them know how I would like to have handled something.

2. Normalizing the need for emotional support – countering stigma begins at home, so I try to make it clear that everyone needs emotional support every now and then – from family, friends, or professionals. Even their mother the shrink!

3. Making time – I not only want my children to see that I have relationships with others, but that I want to have relationships with them. It’s not always easy, but I hope that hanging in there through the easy days and the tough ones will let them know how much I value my relationships with them. I’ve tried lots of ways to do this, but the way that seems to hit home is letting them know that I have time for them. I hope that, somehow, this will lead them to make time for others – and maybe for me, too!

Staying emotionally healthy requires “mind-healthy” habits that we can learn from a young age and that we can teach our children. And they taste – and work - better than margarine!