Davey Wavey Spread Open: How He Went From Body Shame To Celebration

Davey Wavey Spread Open: How He Went From Body Shame To Celebration
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AJ Ford

Davey Wavey is not afraid to get naked and show us his mind, body and soul. His erotic, playful and provocative YouTube channel features over 800 videos and a following of over one million subscribers. When he first started making videos, his channel was nothing more than an online journal for himself. Now, he is excited to explore new opportunities to inspire gay men to celebrate their sexuality.

Davey and I took time to discuss his thoughts on relationships, sex and the next generation of his YouTube career.

A lot of people might look at your content and think it’s just about sex and nudity. What’s the intention behind what you share?

My content’s mission is to invite men who have sex with men to a playful world of self-celebration and sensual exploration. What I’ve tried to do over the years is keep evolving my content. If it’s not challenging me or my audience, then I’m not doing what I need to do. The next chapter for me is doing stuff that will be sex positive, but it’s not the tongue-and-cheek, silly sex stuff I’ve done in the past. It’s more discovering your erotic body and using sex not just a way to get get off, but also connect with the people and world around you. There’s a lot of sex that’s happening, but there’s not a lot of connection that’s happening.

When did you first start noticing the importance to “discover your erotic body”?

It probably began when I was a 14-year-old boy jerking off in my parents’ bathroom, holding my breath trying to be as quiet as I could possibly be. That conditioned me to view sex as means to get off as quickly as quietly as possible. Discovering your erotic body is this idea of unlearning that and reprogramming sex as a tool to connect.

It’s funny that, on YouTube, you’ll see violent, awful of people’s heads being cut off and guts spilling out. Those are fine! That’s not user-restricted, but if I say the word “cock,” god forbid. I think we need more orgasms and fewer bullets and guns.

What’s the one message you want people to get from your content?

I want people to release the layers of pain we carry around so they can celebrate who they are. What is the opposite of shame? Is it pride or celebration? Whatever it is, that’s what what we want people to experience with the content I create.

We have a lot of pain, especially as gay men. Pain that comes from outside our community, the world around us, the government, and our families. There’s also the shame that comes from our own community. Anything we can give to help people celebrate who they are is important work.

The word “pride” can sometimes be associated with something negative or ego-centric. What does pride mean to you?

Pride is unapologetically expressing who you are. This is me, I’m here, and I’m celebrating my existence.

AJ Ford

In your life, how does shame still show up for you?

It shows up in a lot of ways, like around my body. I went to a clothing-optional pool in Hawaii. As I’m taking off my bathing suit, I’m thinking “Oh my gosh, are people staring at me? If my dick gets wet, will people think that it’s too small because it’s shriveled?” It’s incredible what stories bubble up in moments like that.

Even around sex, there’s shame. Will my neighbor hear me? That’s so embarrassing, but why? Why is that embarrassing? There are all these layers we can start to peel off, and those aren’t even LGBT-specific. The idea of reducing shame and helping people explore their sexual freedom is exciting.

Even the word “slut” has shame. I get this all the time in my content because I talk a lot about sex. There’s a negative response around content like that. As if somehow it enforces stereotypes about gay men. Yes, I enjoy having sex, and I enjoy having sex with multiple people. I don’t see what is so bad in that.

On a scale of 1-10, how comfortable would you say you are in your own skin?

I think probably a 6 or a 7. I’m not an expert. I’m a student just like most of my audience is. My content is not a preachy, do-as-I do experience. It’s more about exploring something new together.

What motivates the importance you put on having a big muscles and an overall healthy appearance?

When I first started working out, it wasn’t because I appreciated my body. It was the opposite. It was because I hated my body. Anybody who’s grown up overweight, as I did, know that kids can be real mean. There was a lot of teasing and name-calling. I would see these Abercrombie and Fitch posters and say, “I want to look like that.” Now, it’s very much about honoring my body through exercise and movement. It’s very much an extension to honoring life.

Just like how you would take your car to the shop to get a tune-up, our bodies are the vehicle through which we experience life. I want to keep my body working as well as I can so I can get the most out of however long I’m on this planet.

What’s the biggest misconception people have about you?

I think people have this image that I’m this party guy who goes out to clubs, drinks and lives this wild life. In reality, I’m such a basic bitch. I don’t drink at all. I almost never go to bars or clubs. I am relatively introverted. I do my thing, work really hard and have a good team I work with. I made 70 videos last year. You can’t do that and go clubbing overnight. I think people are often surprised to learn how boring I really am.

If all of your videos were suddenly to be erased except one, which one would you want that to be?

This summer, we released a video of people’s face as they are having an orgasm. It’s one of those rare instances where you see people without their social masks. You just see them as raw, vulnerable, sexy human beings. It’s so uncomfortable to watch, and I’m in love with it.

(This article is part of a series that highlight courageous LGBT voices in the YouTube community. For other articles in the series, click here.)

(To join our private Facebook community of LGBT Leaders and Changemakers interested in making positive and lasting change in the world, click here.)

(Some of the questions asked in this interview were taken from “88 Eye-Opening Questions To Boost Your Energy”. To download a free copy, click here.)

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Frank Macri is a Certified Professional Coach and Trainer who supports members of the LGBT and expat community who desire fulfillment in their relationships and careers. For more resources, go to www.TheFrankLife.com.

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