Parents typically discuss the importance of being careful with the selection of friends with their children. Some parents go even further to warn their children that some 'so-called friends' aren't really who they claim to be. This last guidance is something that's often learned too late after expecting a friend to be available (e.g., physically, emotionally, spiritually) in a time of need. It's at this point that individuals can be faced with the reality that their expectation(s) won't be met.
Individuals within someone's social circle(s) aren't always friends, but are usually an:
- Acquaintance or Associate -- there is familiarity with someone, but there isn't a personal relationship.
Unfavorable friends can be classified as a/an:
- Appendage -- friendly because there's a possibility that an individual's success will help them;
- Conditional -- a requirement placed on a relationship that's dependent on a certain need being met;
- Counterfeit -- gives the impression of being a friend, but isn't someone who can be trusted;
- Evaluative -- determines the significance of a relationship based on the last thing(s) provided or done;
- Fair-Weather -- disappears during a time of need, but will return once a bad time or situation passes;
- Leech -- drains an individual of their energy, essence, or desire to move forward;
- Occasional -- friendly during certain times, but suddenly stops being friendly without any reason or notice. At a later time, the person will be friendly (again) on their terms;
- Negative -- considers themselves to be a friend, but is always pessimistic about things related to the friendship or the things that their friend does;
- Noncommittal -- goes back-and-forth on their belief(s), support, assistance, etc.;
- Situational -- an individual suddenly becomes friendly once a certain event occurs that there might be a personal benefit;
- Spiteful -- jealous of someone's efforts to achieve or actual success;
- Toxic - gives an impression of providing support, but actively works to undermine their efforts.
Favorable friends can be categorized as a:
- Cheerleader -- provides direct moral support for someone's work and activities;
- Good-Time Charlie -- hangs out with an intent to have a good time or for stress relief;
- Kindred Spirit -- provides emotional, spiritual, or moral support;
- Strategist -- assists with helping to develop, think through, and achieve a goal.
These categories and classifications are important to understand; however, the type of friend that's preferred is a:
- True Friend -- someone who doesn't place a classification, condition, value, or limitation on a relationship; someone who will provide emotional support and will also remain friends during good and bad times without exceptions.
The categories and classifications provided are partial lists of the various types of good and questionable friends, respectively.
Anyone who reviews this information will hopefully not have to examine it closely to determine the categories which describe their friendships. If so, then there might be a need to review the classifications carefully as a guide to reevaluate a relationship.
A friendship should be based on mutual beliefs, attitudes, desires, and sometimes future goals that won't easily be impacted by certain moments, situations, or conditions.
After reviewing these categories and classifications:
Are you okay with the types of friends in your environment? If not, then it might be time for replacements.
This post originally appeared on S. L. Young's blog on his website at: www.slyoung.com