I had no idea I was to become the Dr. Ruth of today until I received several phone calls from George. A very dear male friend (77 years) became a widower a year ago and decided he was now ready to start dating using an online site.
First he wondered whether his wife (close friend of mine) had ever mentioned his penis size and before I had a chance to comment, he proceeded to give me details including his size and desire for a lot of sex, even at his late age. (I thought 'Gosh, no wonder Betty had been happy during their 30-year marriage.') I was rather startled by his revelations but politely listened. After he finished, I mentioned that today all that information would go under the heading TMI: Too much information, George.
He wanted to be sure he understood some of the categories on the sites such as 'casual' vs. 'serious only'. I explained to him (even though I've never used dating sites) that 'casual' had to mean sex. His response was: "Damn, how exciting, but I think I really want a companion -- my nights are too lonely."
Then George called telling me his thoughts about the women who had responded to his online profile which I must say was totally honest, minus his physical attribute.
Apparently the on-line dating procedure is to have coffee first, then perhaps a luncheon date and if it appears there's a possibility of romance, then dinner.
One of his dates was lovely, and a bit older. But he felt there was a connection so he was going to ask her for lunch. Another, way too cold. I said that she simply may be shy and he should give her another chance.
Another woman was extremely smart, perhaps smarter than he. I responded how wonderful to be able to learn from someone. Another date has a "fat ass." "As in Kardashian," I asked? George said "Who?" Ignoring his lack of Hollywood minutiae, I reminded that a few years ago, he too might have fit into that category and then said: "Hey you might encourage her to lose weight if this becomes a probable relationship." I asked what she had done professionally? He said she had been an executive secretary. "Well, I said, "she's been sitting on her arse for many years and from what I've read, it spreads."
He was rather surprised by all the responses. I informed there were many, many more women than men who are seeking companionship.
One woman wanted to skip the coffee segment and invited him to her home for dinner. He felt a bit apprehensive but knew he was in such good shape, he would be able to handle any possible physical danger. He showed up with the obligatory flowers/wine in his hand. She cooked a wonderful filet mignon wrapped in puff pastry and after dinner was over, she pointed out all the work that needed to be done in her house. That was the first and last visit -- he had no intention of becoming her handy man no matter how well she cooked.
Another woman brought along her medical records to show George how healthy she is even at 78 years. And another, who recommended a rather expensive restaurant, asked that he bring his financial statements next time they get together. There was to be no further contact.
And most shocking was the woman he had seen for a couple of coffees and then lunch dates who invited him to her home and within 10 minutes had completely disrobed. Needless to say, I asked George what he did. He said he was so shocked that he quickly took off his sports jacket, put it around her and walked out saying, "Please, please keep the jacket."
It's been around six months now and George has finally decided that it's been fun, interesting, a rude awakening at times, but he has finally chosen the gal with the best personality. "Good boy, George," I said.
Bottom line: It's terribly tough for people who have not dated in years!