In only a few years, the Grindr app has proliferated around the globe like wildfire, helping millions of gay men locate each other with razor-sharp accuracy (give or take 213 feet). As a practicing psychologist and avid student of human behavior, the Grindr phenomenon prompted me to ponder deeper issues and implications.
In addition to bringing back the color orange, how else is Grindr impacting the lives of gay men and the world at large? Will it result in the eventual evolutionary deselection of actual "gaydar" in humans? Will "gaydar" become as obsolete as the appendix, and the first vestigial sense now that an app does it better? What other unexpected and far-reaching effects might arise?
In the interest of science and the advancement of the human condition (and most certainly not for recreational purposes), I immersed myself in the world of Grindr to see what I might find.
The results of my exhaustive research revealed an alarming trend of what I've termed Grindr-Induced Psychological Maladies. The top 10 are listed below in what I speculate to be ascending order of prevalence:
- Multiple profile disorder: Dissociative fugue state in which an individual adopts a different personality whose sole purpose is to find out why they were blocked or to express rage and dejection.
Finally, by far the most alarming, puzzling, and widespread Grindr-induced psychological malady:
And the runner-up:
My professional advice for gay men at large who want to avoid the aforementioned maladies and my prescription for those unfortunately already afflicted: have a sense of humor, guys. It's not that serious.