How to Prevail Over the Paralyzing Post-Failure Emotional Cocktail


Emotions can be good, they can be not so good, and sometimes they can be paralyzing.

Of course we all love the good emotions and we're proud when we have them. Not so good emotions (note I'm intentionally avoiding the use of "bad" here) bring us down, make us melancholy, sad. At their worst, they can be paralyzing.

Emotions that paralyze us. This appears to be another seldom discussed topic in the entrepreneurial world. Something hits us so hard, so deep, so strongly that it stops all our thinking. It can make us not just down, it can paralyze with fear and even depression.

I was talking with a very successful woman the other day and we got on this subject relevant to her life after divorce.

"For me, it's not clinical depression or even depression in the true sense of the word, but grieving. I had to grieve/mourn. It got put on hold in a dangerous way for prolonged periods of time. When I finally had time, grieving just took over."

I can fully relate, as can many of us. Life moved so fast and I stayed so busy that after divorce, for a certain amount of time, I didn't take the time to grieve the loss of my family unit, the loss of our marriage, the loss of that relationship and others, and more.

This topic is not relegated to divorce. As we all know, losses come in many other forms:

  • Loss of loved one
  • Loss of business
  • Loss of money
  • Loss of friendship
  • Loss of health
  • Loss of (fill in the blank)

When we don't take the time to grieve, emotions can become paralyzing. The more I share my story, the more people open up with theirs. The similarities are startling. We come out of loss wanting to be strong, not wanting to show weakness, and when the grieving actually hits us it is paralyzing.

Add fear, insecurities, financial challenges, business challenges, single parent challenges and you've got a cocktail of paralytic emotions.

I won't begin to prescribe the solution. Everyone is unique in how they resolve this matter. What I will say is:

Denial does nothing but prolong and deepen the wounds.

There is a process to rebuilding. Don't fight the process -- welcome it. Embrace it. Leverage it. The process works.

I often work with entrepreneurs and executives on rebuilding their lives after divorce and I work with the same demographic on GROWTH. Growth and recovery apply both personally and professionally. 

The process works for recovering from any setback in life, albeit pertaining to work/business, home, health, family, and/or marriage.

I encourage you to invest in your growth. Ascension keeps our eyes and minds focused upward:

  1. Be in touch with your feelings. (You know how I feel about stuffing them.)
  2. Do a ReBOOT to refresh and reignite your body and mind.
  3. Find your SELF.
  4. Establish boundaries.
  5. Foster your healthy body and mind.
  6. Envision your future. Design your next chapter. Dream big!
  7. Invest in yourself.

This is not selfish, it is selfless. You are worth it.

After all, Life is a Gift!


30 years of strategic, entrepreneurial business growth along with two brushes with death have earned him the tag "ResilienceGuy". Bill Douglas is an accomplished Mentor, Coach & Speaker helping entrepreneurs & executives with growth and strength.

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